The Kids Aren't All Right

The Innocents (Eskil Vogt, 2022)

Feels like waiting for a bus when it comes to good movies, and then two come along at the same time; in this case, it's the second Nordic horror I wound up watching this week. Eskil Vogt's The Innocents is an intimate and unique look at childhood development via a group of high rise kiddies, blessed with supernatural powers. Which places natural learning and well-being at complete odds with the maifestation of their paranormal powers.

What's particularly enjoyable about Vogt's film is the discard of any exposition to explain the source of the childrens' powers; which would have probably dragged the film down, in my humble opinion. Instead, their supernatural gifts are conveyed with the same sense of wonder and acceptance; much like anything else by its young recipients. There's also the conflicition of children having the capability of being sadistically cruel at times; resulting in some unexpected dread surfacing in its high realism. It's this dichomity which results in some unsettling moments in the film. The bullied, Ben (Sam Ashraf) gets more sadistic as his telekinetic powers grow stronger, to the point where he tortures and kills a cat, to commiting murder via mind control and telekinisis. Authoritarian figures, such as the kids' parents, are not only oblivious to the disturbingly goings on in their childrens' lives, but also to their paranormal powers.

The plot is a classic tale of good and evil, with the morally grey Ida (Rakel Lenora Fløttm) having to choose a path as represented by the empathic Aisha (Mina Yasmin Bremseth Asheim) and the destructive Ben. The life of her autistic sister, Anna (Alva Brynsmo Ramstad), who she initially tortures by placing broken glass in her shoes, is also in serious jeopardy since her powers rival Ben's. Anna is the vital component in Ida's final decision. Letterboxd rabble could lazily dub this as an A24 mumblecore take on the X-Men, but it has more in common with the likes of  Village of the Damned (1961) and Scanners (1981) than it does to all that overplayed capeshit.

Stylistically, it's well shot and very well acted. The high rise apartments look like every other urban hellhole, so it gets thumbs up for not being another suburban chiller. Apart from some scenes feeling a little long and drawn out here and there, this does a superb job in conveying the emotional and perplexing weight faced by its young ensemble cast. Its serious treatment and brutal realism make this a refreshingly unorthodox substitute to the deluge of superhero flicks we have had to endure over the last couple of decades. It might not be pretty, but it does a better job of portraying the moral compass most of us have had to learn in our childhoods, and to quote the late Stan 'the Man' Lee, "with great power - there must also come great responsibility!" which this offers in abundance.

It's at this point where I would throw a wobbly about it being a 2022 film rather than last year's, since it's a May '22 release where I am, but Google did prove it got a national public release in its country of origin. Fair to say then, that The Innocents probably fills the empty tenth spot from my Best Films of 2021 list, since I love it way more than any of the honourable mentions I also listed. (EDIT - changed it to a 2022 release. Feels dumb AF listing it as a film from last year and it being released now over here.)

Dada Debaser Bonus:

Now, I like my Nordic killer kiddie films, but I also like my Nordic kiddie horror films. But which is better? There's only one to find out. FIGHT!

We Don't Talk About Bruno

Much like hoping for Rochelle Humes or Holly Willoughby being on This Morning only to be greeted with Alison Hammond, I'm bitterly diappointed at every old vid I would often revisit being now blocked by an age verification screen. However, bless the YouTube algorithm for hitting me up with this funky little gem after bumpin' some old Italian soundtracks over the last few weeks. It really is the wrath of the math, because I had never even heard of Bruno Canfora let alone his tune Dirty Gang until recently. 

Taken from the 1976 Umberto Lenzi helmed poliziottesco Il trucido e lo sbirro, AKA Free Hand for a Tough Cop (it's the one where Tomas Milian has the Kevin Keegan wig), this film never had an official soundtrack based on all the digging I could find out about it. However, Dirty Gang was originally released as the A-side on a 7" vinyl single, with a terrible folksy pop number called Dirty Ballad, which is more Bruno Tonioli than Bruno Canfora. The B-Side definitely does not win again this time around. The single was rereleased last year by a label called Four Flies - guessing it's a soundtrack label based on the Argento movie reference name.

Really feelin' Dirty Gang, as it's got the playful piano, funky bongos, a soulful ghetto flute and a head noddin' drum beat that makes me go bowlin' into Waitrose during lunch feeling like a major drug deal is about to go down near the sandwiches section. If any tune can make me feel like that, then it's a true winner in my book.

Bruno Canfora - Dirty Gang

(Il trucido e lo sbirro, AKA Free Hand for a Tough Cop 7" inch single, 1976 & 2021)

Bruno Canfora · Dirty Gang

 

Hey Young World

The Scary of Sixty-First (Dasha Nekrasova, 2021)

Where do you begin when describing this movie? Based on its trailer, it comes across as your typical dead-on-arrival shovelware you would expect to find greeting you on either Netflix and Shudder. You would be right too, but Dasha Nekrasova has one ace up its sleeve that the other still born tat don't: pure comedy. Intentional or not, this film had me laughing out loud like the first time I caught James Wan's Malignant (2021) and that's a rare achievment to accomplish when it come to a cynical curmudgeon like me.

"Princes, princes who adore you
Just go ahead now"

Nekrasova's film feels like Roman Polanski's The Tenant (1976) meets QAnon conspiracy theory, and the obvious link is not lost on me. Ironically, Nekrasova is a popular "bohemian layabout' podcaster, but I bounced listening to whatever she and her medicated political buddies wanted to talk about within seconds of hearing their synchronised nauseating slurring, for the sake of my very sanity. Ain't nobody got time for the zoomer equivalent of Loose Women type natter. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the film's writers, Dasha Nekrasova and Madeline Quinn, came up with the script for this film, however. I would imagine it would have read like a 4chan illuminati post, written by some tinfoil hat wearing loony forgetting their xanax.

Shot in 16mm, the contemporary New York setting felt strangely anachronistic in this movie as it gave it an aged exploitation film vibe. The acting was generally poor, but faux-grindhouse movies like this aren't exactly striving for Daniel Day-Lewis, are they? I'll give it props for its commitment, though; seeing Quinn masturbate to various paraphernalia of Prince Andrew and of all places, Jeffrey Epstein's front doorstep, is both equally bold and hilarious. Try doing that, O Danny boy!

Make no mistake, The Scary of Sixty-First is essentially a complete train wreck, but it's an entertaining one and that gives it a begrudging nod from me, even if it's made by a bunch of wastegal hipsters, living in the Twitter bubble. Whether or not I'll feel the same way about it after repeated viewings will be the real test, however.

The Scary of Sixty-First (Trailer)

(Dasha Nekrasova, 2021)

 

Best Films of 2021

It's been a year when everyone got familiar with the Greek alphabet and learnt how to play Red Light, Green Light. The quantity of films improved in comparison to 2020, but in terms of quality, it was still slim pickings. Only nine titles made the grade.

Took into account the respective release dates of each film according to my region and not some obscure film festival premiere that hardly anyone attended. That's especially important considering the world still hasn’t recovered from the effects of the pandemic. 

I provided some Honourable Mentions further down below. Liked them, but not enough to make my personal list. Close but no cigar, lads.

"Hey, gotta, gotta payback! (the big payback)
Revenge!
I'm mad (the big payback)"

 

Best 2021 I Watched:

Dinner In America (Adam Rehmeier)

Benedetta (Paul Verhoeven)

Last Night In Soho (Edgar Wright)

Apples (Christos Nikou)

Oxygen (Alexandre Aja)

Boss Level (Joe Carnahan)

Censor (Prano Bailey-Bond)

 The Last Duel (Ridley Scott)

 The Suicide Squad (James Gunn)

Never would have expected a punk-themed romcom to draw me in a way like Dinner In America did. Easiy the biggest surprise and my number one film pick of 2021. Insane to think this was made by the same director who gave us The Bunny Game.

 Dinner In America (Watermelon Song scene)

(Adam Rehmeier, 2021)

 

 

 

Honourable Mentions: Enjoyed Denis Villeneuve's Dune (or Dunc according to the poster art) and it's certainly his best film since Sicario, but found it a real slog to sit through at times; experienced similar pacing issues with David Lowery's utterly gorgeous The Green Knight; Rodney Ascher continues to be an exciting documentary film-maker with his utterly bonkers A Glitch In The Matrix; Bob Odenkirk became the most unlikeliest action hero in Nobody; Morgan King's The Spine Of Night made me crave for the return of Ralph Bakshi; Antlers got it right and went back-to-basics with a straight no chaser horror film; it's a good thing James Herriot isn't around today to watch Lamb; and, it might be a new cut of a classic eighties film, but Rocky  IV: Rocky vs. Drago was a noticeable improvement. 

Could have just picked out any one of the above and rounded it out to a nice even ten entries, but it wouldn't have a sat comfy with me. Knowingly having one movie listed there that I wasn't totally happy with would have made me flip out like Raymond Babbitt, or something. Nine companions. So be it.

Home Format Releases of 2021

"I got the blu's but I don't mind
All I have to do is get to you
And then I feel just fine"

 

Not even gonna pretend this was my entire haul this year. Another bumper year for blu-rays which burnt a serious hole in my wallet. A bunch of big omissions I still haven't copped yet would be Citizen Kane (Studio Canal) and Deep Cover (Criterion), but I'm holding out for future sales when it comes to more mainstream titles.

Both Vinegar Syndrome and Severin had another strong year again. Arrow Video was also impressive with its releases, but their rep definitely took a big hit during the combined fiascos of The Bird With The Crystal Plumage and the True Romance releases; truth be told, they haven't been very consumer friendly since the Zavvi deal. It's turned them into real villains in the game.

Three personal holy grail titles got the release treatment in 2021: those being Herman Yau's problematic, Cat. III classic, Ebola Syndrome (1996) released by Vinegar Syndrome; the neglected, head-severing, giallio Trauma (1993) by Dario Argento - also released by Vinegar Syndrome; and, Severin delivering Denis Héroux's sadistic Born For Hell (1976), based on the Richard Speck murders. 

Byron Mabe & Donn Davison's 1967 film, She Freak is an obvious rip-off of Tod Browning's 1932 horror classic, Freaks, but I dug the hell out of the spectacular picture quality. It might be light on the chills, but it's a wonderful window into carnival life from the sixties, that made it a firm fave for me this year. High hopes for more AGFA + Something Weird blu-rays in 2022.

Home Format Film Releases of 2021:

Ebola Syndrome (Vinegar Syndrome)

Shaw Scope: Volume One (Arrow Video)

The Dungeon Of Andy Milligan Collection (Severin)

The Great Silence (Eureka Entertainment)

Riki-Oh: Story Of Ricky (88 Films)

Deep Red (Arrow Video)

Born For Hell (Severin)

The Laughing Woman (Mondo Macabro)

Perdita Durango (Severin)

The Curious Dr. Humpp (AGFA + Something Weird)

Shatter Dead (Saturn's Core)

Evil Dead Trap (Unearthed Films)

She-Freak (AGFA + Something Weird)

True Romance (Arrow Video)

Erotic Ghost Story (88 Films)

Murders In The Rue Morgue / The Black Cat/ The Raven: Three Edgar Allan Poe Adaptations Starring Bela Lugosi (Masters of Cinema)

Trauma (Vinega Syndrome)

Flesh For Frankenstein (Vinegar Syndrome)

Hunting Ground (Mondo Macabro)

With the insane costs of 4Ks and boutique label blu-rays (not to mention the expensive shipping), I think it's time to slow down and take it easy. Planning to spend much less cash on movies in 2022 as a new year's resolution, but I'll probably stick to it like most people hitting the gyms in January.  

EDIT: This lot arrived from Severin while I was writing this post 😀.

"You overdid it, holmes"

Holy Diver

Benedetta (Paul Verhoeven, 2021)

Never would have expected a movie which is essentially The Devils meets Blue Is The Warmest Colour to drop this decade, let alone this year (definitely can relate to that, since bloggin' isn't exactly a popular activity these days). Leave it to the always uncompromising swagger of legendary, Dutch auteur Paul Verhoeven to deliver a historial drama based around 17th century, miracle nun, Benedetta Carlini. The result is a lesbian-romance drama filled to the absolute brim with enough sex and violence that would have given Mary Whitehouse a coronary if she were around today.

 As someone who occasionally dips their toes into the nunsploitation subgenre, Benedetta was a way more professional and lavish offering compared to any of the titles I watched in that sphere; even with the unexpected toilet humour. However, the film still packs a walloping punch in terms of controversy, even when compared to some of the more notorious entries in the subgenre. 

A personal highlight is when our devout heroine drops her vocal pitch down a few notches and ends up sounding like Paul Shane during her stigmata scenes.

It's a phenomenal feat for an octogenarian like Verhoeven to still deliver the goods, when most of his peers have either popped their clogs already, or fallen the fuck off  (*cough* Spielberg *cough*). You won't get anything like this from any major Hollywood studio. A more than welcome gatecrasher to the party this year.

Benedetta (Trailer)

(Paul Verhoeven, 2021)

While I'm still here, Benedetta reminded me of the pain in still not tracking down Alessandro Allessandroni's soundtrack to Giulio Berruti's Killer Nun after so many years.

Choons of 2021

"We're walking in the air
We're floating in the moonlit sky"

Figured I'd post the songs I bumped the most this year and since I created this blog in December, lists feel like a necessary obligation. Also, it's a therapeutic way to rid 2021, before I start stretching my feet and getting my groove on with the type of content I want to focus on in the new year.

Choons of 2021

Judge Bitch - Night Owl (2021)

Cyberthing! - Megaweb Storm (Masked Remix) (2021)

Thee Lakesiders - Can't Fool Me Twice (2021)

beabadoobee - Last Day On Earth (2021)

LukHash feat. Meredith Bull - Dying Breath (2021)

Redman - 80 Barz (2021)

 El Michels Affair - Murkit Gem (2021)

Painkiller - The Ripper (2021) 

Sexual Purity - Don't Touch (2021)

Lady Wray - Under The Sun (2021)

Boldy James & The Alchemist - Double Hockey Sticks (2021)

Sha Hef - Money Counter (2021)

The Weeknd - Take My Breath (2021)

Joy Crookes - Feet Don't Fail Me Now (2021)

Solemn Brigham - Dirty Whip (2021) 

Ka - I Need All That (2021)

Raheem DeVaughn & Apollo Brown - I Still Love You (2021)

Homeboy Sandman - Go Hard (2021)

Isaiah Rashad - Headshots (4r Da Locals) (2021)

Yota - Blame Me (2021)

Thee Sacred Souls - Will I See You Again? (2021)

Ozzy Osbourne & Motörhead - Hellraiser (30th Anniversary Edition) (2021)

 

 Not So New Songs Discovered In 2021

Atomic Rooster - Devil's Answer (1971)

Janko Nilovic - Roses And Revolvers (1973)

Vivien Goldman - Launderette (1981)

Lex - Fourteen Days (1983) 

Steffanie - Run For Your Love (1985)

Ozric Tentacles - Kick Muck (1989)

Congress - 40 Miles (1991)

The Jimi Entley Sound - Charlie's Theme (2002)

Turbulence - Notorious (2006)

Yuno - Fall In Love (2018) 

Trish Toledo - Can't Wait To See You (2020)

Aaron Frazer - Over You (2020)

Night Owl went from my least liked track off Temple Serpent to my fave over the span of the year. It's easily my go-to running in the park like an absolute nutter choon this year.

Bangers for sure, but both the LukHash and Ka joints were the only real strong cuts off their respective albums to me. At this point, the former is a one hit one wonder, while I expected so much more from Ka, to be honest.

Was completely taken by surprise by just how much I love that new version of Hellraiser; the video is a real eyesore compared to the classic Lemmy and the lads playing poker with Pinhead video, though.

I feel like Iron Maiden's The Time Machine deserves an honourable mention since I'm typing away; it's the only song I begrudgingly like off Senjutsu. That's largely attributed to three minutes of Bruce Bruce's warbling and melancholic filler before it truly gets going with the vintage Maiden sound. Just like Quentin Tarantino, the boys badly need an editor not afraid to give them the snip.

Worst Films of 2021

Imagine thinking 2021 would put the horridness of 2020 behind us. It turned out to be another year of lockdowns, furloughs and isolation for most of us. This humble blogger naively expected the entertainment industry to step up with some quality escapism; a mental release of sorts. Leave it to Tinsle Town to add salt to the wound with some utterly horrendous atrocities to cheer us up.

It goes without saying, many movie theatres remained shut during the lockdowns, so studios really took advantage of the lack of a middle-man and released their brand spanking new turds via a huge premium to rent out. What did we get in return? We were served up with more played-out deconstructionist hero nonsense; horror movies that fancied themselves as musicals or soap operas; and bait and switch 'memberberries, for anyone yearning for a more happier time.

Worst 2021 Films I Watched:

Zeros and Ones (Abel Ferrara)

Karen (Coke Daniels)

The Last Rite (Leroy Kincaide)

Fear Street: 1994 (Leigh Janiak)

Mortal Kombat (Simon McQuoid)

Coming 2 America (Craig Brewer)

The Conjuring 3: The Devil Made Me Do It (Michael Chaves)

Those Who Wish Me Dead (Taylor Sheridan)

Candyman (Nia DaCosta)

Halloween Kills (David Gordon Green)

No Time To Die (Cary Joji Fukunaga)

Demonic (Neill Blomkamp)

Silent Night (Camille Griffin)

Wrong Turn (Mike P. Nelson)

Drive My Car (Ryûsuke Hamaguchi)

Matrix Resurrections (Lana Wachowski)

Guerilla filmmaking might have been on Abel Ferrara's agenda for his turgid, sixth-form student looking Zeros And Ones, but I was left way more conviced that it might have been shot by an actual gorilla than a human being; based upon the way the camera was held. So shite, there's an awkwardly appended Ethan Hawke facetime convo during the credits, that felt like regret to me rather than praise for Ferrara's feature.

Films Of 2021 That Let Me Down

Prisoners Of The Ghostland (Sion Sono)

Army Of The Dead (Zac Snyder)

Titane (Julia Ducournau)

Copshop (Joe Carnahan)

The Night House (David Bruckner)

The Many Saints Of Newark (Alan Taylor)

Goes without saying there were plenty of other duds released on Prime, Netflix and Hulu that came and went during their respective release hype stage. Fortunately, my complete apathy and spidey senses let me steer clear of them.

"Yo, baby, you got to cut that garbage off"

EDIT: Added the latest Matrix movie to the list.