Worst Movie Accents: Part 3

The Lady from Shangai ("Sharks" Forshadowing scene)

Orson Welles, 1947

 

Considered a deity amongst some fanatical cineaste folk, Orson Welles gave the world Citizen Kane (1941) at the tender age of just twenty-six. That was enough to earn him a free pass with whatever erroenous error he might have commited throughout the rest of his professional career.

Film noir, The Lady from Shanghai (1947) was a side-project for Welles, since he was only obligated with it inorder to raise funds for his musical adaptation of Jules Verne's Around the World in Eighty Days. This level of half-hearted commitment would lead into the film being an expensive and troubled production; not just in terms of causing a shitstorm of problems with Hollywood's workers' union, but with his deteriorating marriage with his onscreen co-star, Rita Hayworth.

Haven't read Sherwood King's If I Die Before I Wake, the film's original source material, to find out whether its protagonist spoke in an Irish accent, but I do know when I hear a terrible one that's on par with Cameron Diaz's godawful accent in Gangs of New York (2002). Welles' accent, while hilarious, genuinely hurts the film as it's hard to appreciate spoken word nuances or pivotal forshadowing, like how he compares his employers to frenzied sharks. Thankfully, the finale isn't hampered by a stereotypical, mock Irish accent that could have come from Warwick Davis in the Leprechaun franchise, but artistic eye candy for my film tastes; ending a flawed production on a particular a high note.

The climax, which includes some obvious inspiration from Robert Wiene's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920), would also be the forbearer to other notable films down the road, including: Bruce Lee's showdown with Han in Enter the Dragon (1973); Scaramanga's contest with Bond in The Man With the Golden Gun (1974); and more recently Col. Parker's Faustian seduction of the King of Rock & Roll in Elvis (2022). The Lady from Shanghai might not be one of Welles' strongest films, but it's abundantly clear, its artistic legacy would be homaged decades later.

The Lady from Shanghai (Funhouse & Hall of Mirrors scenes)

Orson Welles, 1947

Worst Movie Accents: Part 2

The Dead Pool (Welcome to the Jungle scene)

Buddy Van Horn, 1988

As much as I like Liam Neeson, it's fair to say the big Irishman is hardly the best at adopting other accents. I'll never truly pinpoint what exactly his accent is meant to be in the Taken franchise, or whatever identikit movie he's been making ever since.

Big fan of  Peter Swan, Neeson's character from the giallo-esque The Dead Pool (1988), the fifth and final instalment in Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry series of films. Swan is a trashy horror director who thinks of himself as something of a luvvie. After a comical scene where Jim Carrey's punk rocker, Johnny Squares, mimes his way through Guns 'N' Roses' Welcome to the Jungle, Neeson's English accent becomes comically apparent in this scene. His vowel chewing delivers the best line in the entire film, "it's not a rip-off, it's a hummage". No idea what a "hummage" is, but I do know a hilarious homage when I see one. His ridicoulous accent, along with his schlockmeister standards, makes Neeson's Peter Swan a very likeable character.

The Dead Pool might be the weakest entry in the Dirty Harry films, but there's still a lot to love about it: it's blessed with way superior commentary on the film industry than Fellini's insomnia curing 8½ (1963); a Pauline Kael style film critic coming to a grisly end; and of course, a highly entertaining Bullitt (1968) inspired chase sequence with a remote controlled car:

The Dead Pool (Car Chase scene)

Buddy Van Horn, 1988

 

Speaking of dead pools.

Worst Movie Accents

Villain ("I'm Vic Dakin!")

Michael Tuchner, 1971

Managed to find a nice rip on YouTube of Endless Night (1972), which is very significant to your humble host as it features both Hayley Mills and Hywel Bennett, the main stars (not to mention Bernard Herrmann composing again) from the underrated classic Twisted Nerve (1968); one of my favourite British psychological thrillers ever. Imagine my shock then when Hayley Mills started speaking in a horrendous American accent in the film. Enter a possible new feature here at Dada Debaser - Worst Movie Accents.

More pleasing than any mega rich Twitch streamer’s ASMR stream, Richard Burton's dulcet voice elicits a commanding yet soothing presence to many ears. A voice so unique that it's instantaneously recognisable even as an offscreen narrator in the ultimate seige movie Zulu (1964) or Jeff Wayne's musical adaptation of War of the Worlds, but what the Bloody Nora was going on with Burton's Cockney accent as sadistic mob boss Vic Dakin in the film Villain (1971)?

Adapted from James Barlow's novel The Burden of Proof, the film's larger than life mobster shares a couple of common attributes with actual East End gangster Ronnie Kray. Sadly, Burton being born within the sound of the Bow Bells isn't one of them. Although blessed with a strong and recognisable cast like Ian McShane and Nigel Davenport, the film is rather unremarkable, save for Burton's accent. It will never cease to crease me up, especially in Benny's torture scene where he orders his lads to "Peek 'im ap! Peek 'im ap!".

Villain (Benny's torture scene)

Michael Tuchner, 1971

 

Villain was released in the same year as another British gangster thriller, Mike Hodges' seminal Get Carter (1971), starring Michael Caine, which left it virtually forgotten in its wake. Half a century later, Villain does serve as an interesting curiosity in British cinema; especially as it exemplified Mockney well before posh sounding actors were cast in Eastenders and Guy Ritchie tainted British gangster films forever.