Tuesday, September 10, 2024

Peak Era #3

Melinda Clarke

Rewatching Return of the Living Dead III (1993) over the weekend reminded me how hot Melinda Clarke (credited as Mindy Clarke in the film) was as the tragic, grungy femme Julie Walker; both before and after her exposure to the zombie gas Trioxin. Way hotter than Linnea Quigley's Trash from the first film, in my honest opinion. The concept of being eaten alive by the undead is absolutely terrifying, but I’d rather it be Julie chomping on my noggin than that horrifying CeeLo Green looking zombie in Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979). Every self-respecting horror film aficionado ought to include Julie Walker when compiling their Greatest Zombie Characters lists.

It's an absolute travesty that the best scene in the film; the part where Julie prepares for battle by piercing her face and body with pieces of sharp metal and glass to fight against the evil thug Santos and his street crew (perhaps the most middle-aged looking Latino gang on film), is only available on YouTube in its censored version, and to rub further salt to the wound, a poor quality VHS  rip. For shame!


From Julie Walker to Julie Cooper, Melinda Clarke managed to draw me to the naughties teen drama The O.C. (2003-2007) as the show's resident Alexis Colby. Melissa had aged like fine wine and reached upper echelon M.I.L.F status during her tenure on the show. Her come-to-bed eyes could bring any man to ruin. Little wonder she turned gold digging into an art; like marrying her best friend's mega wealthy, old dad, cheating on him with her daughter's boyfriend, and conspiring with his murder.

To emphasise what a veritable fox she was during this period, ruminate over this: when Melinda Clarke hit her forties, she looked like this. Can't say the same about her ex co-stars nearing the same age today; including the once great Olivia Wilde.

4 comments:

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

That CeeLo lookin' MF is definitely one of the creepiest zombies ever. I'll probably dream about him now tonight 😬

Spartan said...

The scariest thing about CeeLo is no shots are shown hitting him in the head, so he's still out there spreading the off screen zombie outbreak in NYC with the cop he bit, resulting in the film's doomer ending.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

The ultimate "shoulda made sure you got the job done" moment.

Spartan said...

It makes sense, though. Zombie Flesh Eaters was marketed as an unofficial sequel to Dawn of the Dead, and spawned its own set of films. Much like the Return of the Living Dead franchise being an offshoot from Night of the Living Dead.