Going Strait

Paul Sykes: At Large (The Straits of Johor)

(Nick Lord, 1990)

It's a sorry state of affairs when revered documentarian film makers like Louis Theroux have to resort to interviewing a Twitch troll with supernatural belching skills to earn an honest buck in this day and age. It's only right to delve back into the past, when a documentary about the poor and unfortunate wasn't just prime time poverty porn; in this case it's the episode called Paul Sykes: At Large, from the documentary series, First Tuesday; first broadcast on Yorkshire TV in 1990. 

Following the exploits of the legendary English hardman and long term resident in the nick, trying to make a go of it on the straight and narrow. It's a mesmerising watch as Paul, wasn't just a hard-hitting pugilist in the boxing world, but a philosophical soul, too. Spending time with Paul adjusting to life outside the belly of the beast is pure magic as the viewer is blindsided with pearls of wisdom from Wakefield's finest, like "people get stuck in the groove, they're thinking gets stuck in the groove. Give 'em a little belt, you've knocked their groove out and then you've got their attention." The stuff of Plato, in my opinion.

Of course, the go to scene which offers a tantalising teaser of what this mesmerising documentary has to offer, is Paul schoolin' us plebians on the shark tainted Strait of Johor and how he deals with these predators of the sea. Consider me shocked, that it's a genuine real location situated between Malaysia and Singapore and not something dreamt up by The Incredible Bullshitting Man. 

Other personal highlights include:

• Paul's mother dropping truth bombs on him like there's no tomorrow.
• Typing up his novel "Sweet Agony" on a old BBC Micro computer.
• A poorly planned wedding with his belle, Cath; resulting in Paul losing his patience and going on a drunken atheist rant.
• The sitdown with his kids after a tenner is pinched from Cath's purse. "I'm gonna hafta beat him up...he's a terrible disgrace of a lad. Am I to blame? I don't know. He'd still be a useless bastard, whether I would have been there or not."
• Paul's requirement of twelve pints of liquid everyday to keep his ruptured kidney in a state of hydration. Beer being the obvious choice, of course.
• A rendition of Yazoo's Only You sung by what looks like two-thirds of the Space Angels from Battlestar Galactica.
• A fund raiser raffle for young kids in the local area. One of the prizes being a fine art painting by one of Paul's mates, none other than British serial killer, Patrick MacKay.
• Paul's Last Resort debt collecting business; which introduced the viewer to his colourful client, "local business man", Dennis Flint. The palpable tension with his reluctance to offer Paul a drink to avoid any possible damage to his flamboyantly decorated crib. The Rolls Royce desk was a touch of class, in my humble opinion.
  

"When you're handed a drink: you're an educated man, okay? When you've had a drink; you're a fucking maniac, okay?"

The world lost a great intellectual thinker in 2007 as Paul Sykes passed away from pneumonia and cirrhosis of the liver. Fortunately, we still have this fascinating film to educate and possibly dissuade any young 'un from taking the wrong path in life. Cheers, Paul.