Monday, January 6, 2025

Lust for a Vampyre

Vampyres (José Ramón Larraz, 1974)

Rather than moan about having not having the opportunity to check out Robert Eggers' Nosferatu (2024/2025) yet, I'm doing what every other film blogger who hasn't seen it is currently doing; kicking off the new year with some other vampire film. Presenting José Ramón Larraz's cult erotic horror movie Vampyres (1974), AKA Daughters of Darkness (not to be confused with the Harry Kümel's 1971 film of the same name, which also features lesbian vampires). Vampyres would wind up as the most salacious and bloody entry in the sapphic vampire films of its time. An era which gave us Jesús Franco's Vampyros Lesbos (1971), Vicente Aranda's The Blood Spattered Bride (1972), Hammer's Karnstein series and Kümel's aforementioned film.

Spanish comic book artist turned director was no stranger to film making in the UK. Larraz debut film Whirlpool (1970) was the first of his British films. In the same year as his sapphic vampire masterpiece, he also delivered Symptoms (1974), a slow-burn, psychosexual horror starring Angela Pleasence, which took obvious inspiration from Roman Polanski's Repulsion (1968). Various elements from Symptoms, e.g. its lesbian theme and a remote house of horrors in the English countryside, would also find their way into his very next film Vampyres.

The premise of Vampyres is simple yet effective: a pair of beautiful vampires, the buxom brunette Fran (Marianne Morris) and blonde bombshell Miriam (Anulka Dziubinska), traipse through the English countryside and lure motorists to their secluded, dilapidated manor (a personal favourite film location -Oakley Court) under the assumption of it being their lucky night. The more than willing hapless men are gruesomely devoured upon by the sexy pair. As wonderful as that sounds, it's the consequences of this thirst trap that makes the film equally as memorable as the copious amounts of female nudity. The seductive temptresses are just as savage in their blood lust as they are in their carnal desires. Which makes Vampyres just as much a disturbing horror film as it is a seventies softcore erotic movie. Vampyres is very much a primal film.

Beginning with a cold open scene where Fran and Miriam are both in bed naked and sensually kissing one another, the pair are brutally gunned down by a mysterious assailant. Cut to the title sequence of flying vampire bats and James Kenelm Clarke's psyche rock theme to set the tone of the film. It's followed by the introduction of brown tweed suited Ted (Murray Brown), the male protagonist, arriving in a hotel's reception looking to book a room for the night. The elderly hotel manager seems to recognise Ted. "The gentleman is an old client. We haven't seen you down here for years. Years have gone by since then. Do you remember me?" A mildly annoyed Ted denies knowing him. Which is the first clue in the film that there's something more to Ted than we might think.

Following on, the next two supporting characters are introduced. Caravanners John (Brian Deacon) and Harriet (Sally Faulkner) spot the two femme fatales looking suspicious along the roadside. The young couple decide to spend the night near the grounds of what they assume is the abandoned building featured in the prologue. Harriet is still concerned by the two women she spotted earlier, while hubby John is completely nonchalant about the whole thing. During the night, Harriet sees both Fran and Miriam in her dream, only for her to be suddenly awoken by a man's scream outside. It's followed by a bloody hand thudding against her window. Totally freaked out, Harriet does what any married woman always does, and wakes her fella up to go outside and investigate in the pissing rain. Soaked to the bone, John finds no signs of anything outside. Returning to the caravan, John tells Harriet that she was only dreaming.

The following morning, a dead naked man is found inside a wrecked Mini Cooper by the police. At this point John spends much of his day fishing by the nearby lake, while Harriet paints the seemingly abandoned building on her canvas. Coincidentally, Ted is back on the scene and picks up Fran looking for a lift back home. Instantly attracted to the mysterious hitch hiker (and who wouldn't?), Ted tells her, "You remind me very much of someone I knew a long time ago. Yes, very much indeed." Echoing what the hotel manager said to Ted earlier.

Despite the obvious suggestions that Ted possesses a past history with the lustful femme fatales, the character really does serve as the every man in this tale. What would you do if you picked up a hot hitch hiker and drove her home? It's the typical thirst trap. Ted telling Fran,"You arouse me more than any woman I've met for a long time." after she's went AWOL on him during the day, spells how deep in the hole he is in without realising it. The trouble is, it's so hard wired in most men's brains, they'll risk their ultimate doom if it means they have a shot with beautiful women like Fran and Miriam. Therefore, Ted steadily deteriorating whilst trapped inside the vampires' lair (much like Jonathan Harker). Having introduced this film to a few friends in the past, they've all unanimously agreed they'd wind up in the same predicament as Ted. Thus, witnessing our protagonist going without food, and only drinking booze and smoking a pack of Rothman's for three days, whilst being completely drained (figuratively and literally!) by the lustful vampire wenches, is a sympathetic, yet comical doom for many a poor randy bloke.

It's worth noting that although the sex and violence are high off the lesbian vampire equivalent of the Richter scale, Vampyres is blessed by an incredible atmosphere throughout. This in turn stops the film feeling repetitive whenever new potential male victims are lured to their doom. The cluttered, cobwebbed decor of colonial bric-a-brac around the neglected manor lend to the gloomy feel of the home. Which in turn adds to how much these men will forego any obvious red flags if it means they manage to score with the blood-sucking babes. Hence, more dead naked men being found along in their crashed vehicles. There's also the fantastically eerie drone sound emanating from the wine cellar beneath the manor, where Fran and Miriam sleep during the day. Surrounded by old bottles of wine and decayed cadavers.

A hidden layer that might be overlooked upon the first viewing is how time passes in the film; most specially, inside the antagonists' home. Ted discovers his watch has stopped while there. The morning after his night with Fran (spent, hungover and with a nasty gash on his arm...what a night!!!), who's left him alone in the manor, Ted spies a grandfather clock is not working either. Additionally, when the pair lure a playboy wine expert (Michael Byrne - perhaps the most recognisable cast member in the film) to their cellar, his watch too has stopped.

Vampyres is impeccably well shot, thanks to Harry Waxman, the director of photography for genuine classics The Nanny (1965), Twisted Nerve (1968) and The Wicker Man (1973). Which is definitely advantageous for Vampyres, as its budget was only around £42,000 at that time, and yet it looks superb. The scenes of Fran and Miriam wondering around a graveyard could have easily been lifted from a gothic Hammer production, or one of Rollin's early films. Sun rays piercing through the morning mist and tree branches are reminiscent of Larraz's autumnal look in Symptoms. At its core, Vampyres definitely has more to offer than the sleaze horror it's labelled as. 

Considering Marianne Morris and Anulka Dziubinska got their roles for being attractive women willing to appear in the buff on film, they're still rather good as performers. Their lack of acting experience doesn't seem to affect the film much. An anecdote shared by Dziubinska was a chance meeting of the esteemed actor John Mills at a party, where she asked him for any tips for her fledgling acting career. His answer was to accept any role she was offered. This was the first film which landed on her lap. Thank you very much, John Mills. In an interview with Morris, she admitted to needing to have a drink to loosen her inhibitions in her shower scene with Dziubinska, but it’s very erotically charged, regardless. Not entirely sure if her voice was dubbed, but her she sounds very posh in the film, which adds to her attraction; a bit like Darcey Bussel.

Sadly, Vampyres doesn't get the love it deserves as one of the superb British horror films from the seventies, nor does it get the recognition of it being the best of the lesbian vampire movies out there, in my humble opinion. It's not compelled to dwell on some poetic existentialism you might come across in Rollin and Franco's erotic horror films. Vampyres is an unadulterated and unapologetic primal savagery, and it's why I rank it above the rest.

Larraz's later films don't hit in the same way as Vampyres (of the ones I've managed to watch at least). The satanic themed Black Candles (1982) is noteworthy for its outrageousness, but nowhere near as engrossing as his earlier films. He would also helm a bunch of forgettable slashers like Edge of the Axe (1988) which further highlighted his decline in quality as a director for me. Regardless of his descent, it's Larraz's early films which are most appealing, and Vampyres is undoubtedly his best, in my opinion.

Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Viewings: December 2024

Took complete advantage of the festive break and crammed an obscene amount of recent films until my eyeballs melted like Gerstead's. The biggest highlights were undoubtedly Sean Baker's comedy drama Anora and Jang Jae-hyun's horror mystery Exhuma. Two very different films and two great examples why 2024 in film was a winner for me.

Roll on 2025!


Film:

12 Angry Men (Sidney Lumet, 1957)

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (Nicholas Webster, 1964)*

The Blood Beast Terror (Vernon Sewell, 1968)

The Colour of Pomegranates (Sergei Parajanov, 1969)*

The Italian Job (Peter Collinson, 1969)

The Conformist (Bernardo Bertolucci, 1970)*

Hands of the Ripper (Peter Sasdy, 1971)

Fuzz (Richard A. Colla, 1972)*

Barry Lyndon (Stanley Kubrick, 1975)*

I Don’t Want to Be Born (Peter Sasdy, 1975)

The Black Hole (Gary Nelson, 1979)

Dawn of the Mummy (Frank Agrama, 1981)*

The Escapees (Jean Rollin, 1981)*

Paris, Texas (Wim Wenders, 1984)

Blood Games (Tanya Rosenberg, 1990)*

Beau Travail (Claire Denis, 1999)*

Lost in Translation (Sofia Coppola, 2003)

The Borderlands (Elliot Goldner, 2013)

Red Rocket (Sean Baker, 2021)*

Anora (Sean Baker, 2024)*

The Apprentice (Ali Abbasi, 2024)*

Conclave (Edward Berger, 2024)*

The Devil’s Bath (Severin Fiala, Veronika Franz, 2024)*

Exhuma (Jang Jae-hyun, 2024)*

Frogman (Anthony Cousins, 2023/2024)*

Gladiator II (Ridley Scott, 2024)*

Heretic (Scott Beck, Bryan Woods, 2024)*

Humane (Caitlin Cronenberg, 2024)*

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (Ariane Louis-Seize, 2023/2024)*

Hundreds of Beavers (Mike Chislik, 2022/2024)*

It’s What’s Inside (Greg Jardin, 2024)*

Kill (Nikhil Nagesh Bhat, 2023/2024)*

The Order (Justin Kurzel, 2024)*

The Shadow Strays (Timo Tjahjanto, 2024)*

The Substance (Coralie Fargeat, 2024)

Thelma (Josh Margolin, 2024)*

 

Television:

Doctor Who - ‘Doctor Who and the Silurians’ (Sydney Newman, 1970)

Doctor Who - ‘The War Games in Colour’  (Sydney Newman, 1969/2024)*

Doctor Who - ‘Joy to the World’ (Sydney Newman, 2024)*

Squid Game - Season 2 (Hwang Dong-hyuk, 2024)*


*First time viewings.


Dada Debaser Notes:

  • Remember when Benedict Cumberbatch's mum was a giant blood-sucking moth in The Blood Beast Terror? I do, but then again, I also remember thinking it was better than it really was.
  • Oscar bait performances by the Brits this month: Nicholas Hoult as a bowl haired white nationalist and Jude Law's moustachioed fed were both exceptional in true crime thriller The Order. Ralph Fiennes's concerned trolling cardinal in the bitchfest that was Conclave was also very noteworthy. I'll probably only ever catch these films again whenever they're aired on TV, however.
  • Joan Collins spurning the advance of a lustful dwarf and subsequently cursed with a demonic killer offspring in Peter Sasdy's laughably terrible I Don't Want to Be Born should have been great in theory. Waste of a great cast: Donald Pleasence, Ralph Bates, Caroline Munro and a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo from the first lady of Play School (1968-1988) Floella Benjamin. Thankfully, Sasdy delivered with the excellent Hands of the Ripper (1971) a few years prior.
  • The Apprentice follows the typical Hollywood style formula of any biopic or period piece featuring the aid of vintage visual filters, an OTT campy wardrobe, and nostalgic needledrops. I was sick of hearing Bacara again and again. To the film's credit, Jeremy Strong's performance as Roy Cohn makes it highly watchable. Simultaneously channelling Dustin Hoffman's Rain Man and Beelzebub. There's a hilarious scene that parallels Trump's liposuction and hair surgery with Darth Vader's creation.
  • The Color of Pomegranates is a five star banger in terms of its sublime cinematography and gorgeous production design. However, despite its relatively short run time, it's a challenging slog to wade through, thanks to its cold and avant-garde religious sensibility. One for the Criterion chin strokers.
  • The last twenty or so minutes in Frogman are great fun. Unfortunately, the fifty minutes that precede it are absolutely boring.
  • The proverbial picture paints a thousand words proved true as Gi-hun's memeable mugshots from Squid Game summed up my satisfaction regarding both seasons of the show:

Did my best and worst films of 2024. Also listed my fave discoveries and Blu-Ray/4K releases. Even did the Top 100 Directors Challenge (and failed).

Blog reading I enjoyed this month were the Martorialist's best movies and TV shows awards and Dark Eyes of London’s top 10 films of 2024.

Sunday, December 29, 2024

Squid Pro Quo

People risking their lives in a variety of demented playground style contests for money made for addictive viewing in Hwang Dong-hyuk's Netflix series Squid Game (2021). The  global phenomenon successfully managed to entertain and shock in equal measure. It also felt like a complete package in its nine episode run. Netflix commissioning a second and third season obviously makes business sense for the streaming giant, but just like film sequels, it runs the risk of being inferior and diluting the brand. For Dong-hyuk's creation, Squid Game season two is still a highly bingeworthy offering, but also a mixed bag compared to its sublime predecessor.

What's instantly noticeable about the second season is it being reduced to seven episodes. Hardly a red flag, but cause for concern considering it's significantly slower paced in getting to the actual games than before. Main protagonist, Seong Gi-hun (Lee Jung-jae), is a completely changed man after winning the previous tournament. Joined by cop Hwang Jun-ho (Wi Ha-joon), they now command a team of mercenaries searching for the location of the deadly games and the cryptic higher ups who run it.

Gi-hun becoming a contestant again leads to a few changes in both the variety of games and general theme of the show. His familiarity with the iconic first game Red Light, Green Light leads to more survivors, which consequentially means less prize money for everyone alive. This in turn leads to scenes where the survivors vote more often in proceeding with the next games. The winning majority dictating what happens next. This in turn has the voting losers forced to play on and risk their lives. Whereas the first season was a satire on capitalism, season two makes a prodding commentary on democracy, and how the exploitation of it. 

The new contestants are a varied bunch of desperate individuals: an elderly mother and her idiotic son are perhaps the most interesting of the new lot. The most odious of the bunch is Thanos, a Korean rapper, with eye rolling hood talk, who had me praying for his instant death. The actor who played him was terrible, too. The first season's players were far more memorable, however.

Season two's biggest offence is it feeling like it has been divided from the inevitable third season, thanks to its pacing and various sub plots being ridiculously drawn out. Thus, even with its violent finale and predictable cliffhanger, it doesn't come close to being as satisfying as its debut season. This reeks of Netflix's tampering, as other shows exclusive to the platform have intentionally been divided (Cobra Kai's sixth season).

Overall, Squid Game season two is a mixed bag. A series which continues to shine with its incredible premise and high risk stakes, make it easy to binge all the way through, effortlessly. However, the slower pace and drawn out story telling, replete with it all being told in less episodes, make it feel a little underwhelming compared to its monumental debut. Still, despite this criticism, Squid Game still left me feeling invested and wondering how it will conclude.

Thursday, December 26, 2024

Home Format Releases of 2024

Another bumper, but bittersweet year for cinephiles with a vested interested in owning films on physical media.

More boutique labels were eager to cut out the customer convenience of purchasing off Amazon and pushing folk into ordering directly from their sites. Cutting out the middleman is understandable, but a right pain in the arse if something was available for pre-order off Amazon, months in advance, only to be withdrawn and already sold out elsewhere. My pre-order of The Stone Tape is the latest example. Hence, FOMO became an even bigger issue in 2024 and leading to more scalpers cashing-in on folk with money to burn.

2024 was also the year where quality issues were more prevalent with various major boutique releases having dodgy sound mixing or picture freezing. This would lead to the headache of having to get in touch with customer service and provide proof of purchase for a replacement disc, rather than automatically like some other labels.

Anyhow, without further ado, here are the physical media highlights for me this year:

The Flesh and Blood Show - The Horror Films of Pete Walker | Blu-Ray | 88 Films

The Hitcher | 4K | Second Sight

Inside the Mind of Coffin Joe | Blu-Ray | Arrow Films*

Looking for Mr. Goodbar | 4K | Vinegar Syndrome

Blake's 7: The Collection - Series 1 | Blu-Ray | BBC

The Blair Witch Project | Blu-Ray  |Second Sight

Columbia Horror | Blu-Ray | Indicator

Häxan | Blu-Ray | Radiance Films

Dawn of the Mummy | Blu-Ray | Treasured Films

Forgotten Gialli Vol. 7 | Blu-Ray | Vinegar Syndrome

J-Horror Rising | Blu-Ray | Arrow Films

The Sadness | 4K | Shudder

* Technically released last year, but the absence of subtitles on one of the discs meant the corrected set didn't come out until earlier this year.

With the proposed US tariffs, now might be a good time to pack it in with ordering overseas. Buying films is already an expensive hobby, and I can't see myself importing with the same frequency next year. Probably sticking to the home grown labels for the foreseeable future.

Also, managed to score most of Michel Soavi's oeuvre on 4K, which was released by Severin last year, during the Black Friday sales. Currently lumbered in some depot in Stanstead over Christmas. Anna Falchi in Dellamorte Dellamore (1994) on 4K ❤.

Wednesday, December 25, 2024

I Got Ninety-Nine Films, but Les Biches Ain’t One

Found a challenge for cinephiles over on Letterboxd that I shamelessly stole. You can read the original challenge rules here. The best 100 films sourced from TSPDT's list of the top 250 directors - one film per selected director.

At the very least that would give me some leeway, right? Wrong. The original list turned out to be filled with films by overrated pinko hacks, foreign film makers no one had heard of, and the pretentious shite men pretend to like to score with artsy women. This was a tougher challenge than I imagined and it turned into something of an obsession.

Various individual auteurs have way too many classics, but I ended up including my own personal fave pick from their filmography, despite not being regarded as their best by others.

Evidently, based on the blog title alone, I failed. I couldn't find that one last worthy entry and hit one hundred great films.

Here's the list regardless:

A Trip to the Moon (Georges Méliès, 1902)
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Robert Wiene, 1920)
Nosferatu (F. W. Murnau, 1922)
M (Fritz Lang, 1931)
Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931)
Freaks (Tod Browning, 1932)
Duck Soup (Leo McCarey, 1933)
King Kong (Merian C. Cooper, Ernest B. Schoedsack, 1933)
The Wizard of Oz (Victor Fleming, 1939)
The Maltese Falcon (John Huston, 1941)
Casablanca (Michael Curtiz, 1942)
I Walked with a Zombie (Jacques Tourneur, 1943)
The Big Sleep (Howard Hawks, 1946)
A Matter of Life and Death (Emeric Pressburger, Michael Powell, 1946)
Kind Hearts and Coronets (Robert Hamer, 1949)
The Third Man (Carol Reed, 1949)
White Heat (Raoul Walsh, 1949)
In a Lonely Place (Nicholas Ray, 1950)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (Robert Wise, 1951)
Les Diabolique (Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1955)
The Ladykillers (Alexander Mackendrick, 1955)
The Bridge on the River Kwai (David Lean, 1955)
Witness for the Prosecution (Billy Wilder, 1957)
Touch of Evil (Orson Welles, 1958)
The Magician (Ingmar Bergman, 1958)
Eyes Without a Face (Georges Franju, 1960)
Le Trou (Jacques Becker, 1960)
Peeping Tom (Michael Powell, 1960)
Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock, 1960)
The Servant (Joseph Losey, 1963)
The Hill (Sidney Lumet, 1965)
The Collector (William Wyler, 1965)
Bunny Lake Is Missing (Otto Preminger, 1965)
For a Few Dollars More (Sergio Leone, 1965)
The Battle of Algiers (Gillo Pontecorvo, 1966)
Belle de Jour (Luis Buñuel, 1967)
The Dirty Dozen (Robert Aldrich, 1967)
Bonnie and Clyde (Arthur Penn, 1967)
Rosemary's Baby (Roman Polanski, 1968)
Targets (Peter Bogdanovich, 1968)
The Wild Bunch (Sam Peckinpah, 1969)
Army of Shadows (Jean-Pierre Melville, 1969)
The French Connection (William Friedkin, 1971)
Dirty Harry (Don Siegel, 1971)
Deliverance (John Boorman, 1972)
Aguirre, the Wrath of God (Werner Herzog, 1972)
Don't Look Now (Nicolas Roeg, 1973)
High Plains Drifter (Clint Eastwood, 1973)
Badlands (Terence Malick, 1973)
The Parallax View (Alan J. Paluka, 1974)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper, 1974)
Jaws (Steven Spielberg, 1975)
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (Miloš Forman, 1975)
Picnic at Hanging Rock (Peter Weir, 1975)
Marathon Man (John Schlesinger, 1976)
Carrie (Brian De Palma, 1976)
The Pink Panther Strikes Again (Blake Edwards, 1976)
Star Wars (George Lucas)
Suspiria (Dario Argento, 1977)
Dawn of the Dead (George A. Romero, 1978)
Apocalypse Now (Francis Ford Coppola, 1979)
The Elephant Man (David Lynch, 1980)
The Shining (Stanley Kubrick, 1980)
Mad Max 2 (George Miller, 1981)
Time Bandits (Terry Gilliam, 1981)
Blade Runner (Ridley Scott, 1982)
The Thing (John Carpenter, 1982)
Zelig (Woody Allen, 1983)
This Is Spinal Tap (Rob Reiner, 1984)
The Terminator (James Cameron, 1984)
Ran (Akira Kurosawa, 1985)
Back to the Future (Robert Zemeckis, 1985)
Down by Law (Jim Jarmusch, 1986)
Manhunter (Michael Mann, 1986)
The Fly (David Cronenberg, 1986)
Platoon (Oliver Stone, 1986)
Raising Arizona (Joel Coen, Ethan Coen, 1987)
Robocop (Paul Verhoeven, 1987)
Do the Right Thing (Spike Lee, 1989)
Drugstore Cowboy (Gus Van Sant, 1989)
Goodfellas (Martin Scorsese, 1990)
Point Break (Kathryn Bigelow, 1991)
The Silence of the Lambs (Jonathan Demme, 1991)
Braindead (Peter Jackson, 1992)
Ed Wood (Tim Burton, 1994)
Serial Mom (John Waters, 1994)
Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino, 1994)
Boogie Nights (Paul Thomas Anderson, 1997)
Fight Club (David Fincher, 1999)
The Matrix (Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski, 1999)
Memento (Christopher Nolan, 2000)
Children of Men (Alfonso Cuarón, 2006)
We Need to Talk About Kevin (Lynne Ramsey, 2011)
The Skin I Live In (Pedro Almodóvar, 2011)
Holy Motors (Leos Carax, 2012)
Hard to Be a God (Aleksei German, 2013)
The Grand Budapest Hotel (Wes Anderson, 2014)
The House That Jack Built (Lars Von Trier, 2018)
Parasite (Bong Joon-ho, 2019)

Reasons Why TSPDT's List Sucks:

  • Why are genre film makers like Tobe Hooper, John Carpenter and George A. Romero listed, while Wes Craven is omitted? All those directors experienced similar highs and lows.
  • Michael Powell is listed twice in TSPDT's list; one on his own, and the other with Emeric Pressburger. I took this a valuable loophole to get closer to one hundred films. Besides, both films I listed are legitimately great.
  • Wound up including certain rare great films from film makers that I'm not even a fan of, or in some cases - despise.
  • Don't blame me for the miniscule number of 21st century titles. The likes of great contemporary auteurs such as Robert Eggers, Nicolas Winding Refn and Jonathan Frasier not being available says more about the source I had to work with. Here's your host's highest rated 21st century films.
  • TSPDT's original list included Peter Greenaway and Ken Russell, but they were given the heave-ho for other film makers I was unfamiliar with, or just couldn't give a toss about. This was crucially costly for me as either The Devils (1971) and The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989) would have helped me hit the finish line.

Please excuse the lack of a Christmas related post this year, this challenge took way too much time. Between all the "classics" and 2024 movies binged this month, it was too much. Also, I just couldn't be bothered, to be totally honest. Merry Christmas, though!!!

Friday, December 20, 2024

Worst Films of 2024

Francis Ford Coppola's Megalopolis is undoubtedly the worst film I've watched this year (and probably the decade thus far), but at least its withdrawn trailer with fabricated quotes managed to provide some entertainment. Can’t say the same the for other wretched releases this year.

Ranging from overrated fart-house darlings, awful remakes, and made for Tubi slop, here's a list of films which were the nadir of 2024 for me:

Apartment 7A (Natalie Erika James)

Borderlands (Eli Roth)

La Chimera (Alice Rohrwacher)

The Crow (Rupert Sanders)

Cuckoo (Tilman Singer)

The Fall Guy (David Leitch)

Gladiator II (Ridley Scott)

I Saw the TV Glow (Jane Schoenbrun)

The Killer (John Woo)

Lisa Frankenstein (Zelda Williams)

Maid Droid Origins (Rich Mallery)

Megalopolis (Francis Ford Coppola)

Night Swim (Bryce McGuire)

Thelma (Josh Margolin)

Trap (M. Night Shamalamadingdong)

Uglies (McG)

Under Paris (Xavier Gens)

V/H/S/Beyond (Jay Cheel, Jordan Downey, Christian Long, Justin Long, Justin Martinez, Virat Pal, Kate Siegel)

Did you know the inspiration for Eli Roth's cinematic turd that was Borderlands was inspired by his French bulldog taking a dump? True story

Thursday, December 19, 2024

Best Films of 2024

A good year for folks with an unapologetic love for genre cinema. Quality and variety were more evident compared to the previous year.

Below is a list of the best of 2024  along with abridged versions of their reviews and their Letterboxd ratings:

Disclaimer: Criteria for eligibility were films released in the UK (theatrical or streaming) this year.

 1. The Zone of Interest (Jonathan Glazer)

 A loose adapatation of Martin Amis's titular novel, The Zone of Interest is a powerful viewing experience. Horrific atrocities that occur in the film are largely implied, heard, or viewed from afar. Therefore, much of the horror is left to our imagination.

Adjacent to the unseen nightmare, we're privy to the domestic life of  Rudolf Höss (Christian Friedel), commandant of the Auschwitz concentration camp, and his wife Hedwig (Sandra Hüller), the self proclaimed "Queen of Auschwitz".

Micha Levi's soundtrack also plays a huge part. It's minimal, and other wordly modern, but complimentary and never out of place.

A tough and harrowing watch, but a monumental accomplishment in contemporary cinema.

2. The Substance (Coralie Fargeat)

½

Our celebration of beauty and youth is hardly a new concept; they've been well documented in art, literature and music throughout our history. Coralie Fargeat critiques these impossible standards in the satirical body horror that is her sophomore film, The Substance (2024). All this, while waving the tricolore flag as the true queen of New French Extremity.

At its core The Substance has a similar structure to Forgeat's impressive debut, Revenge (2017), as it also features a small cast, along with blending the fantastical with reality.

This is all about satirising both the beauty and entertainment industries in an extreme fashion. For this reason, The Substance comes across as cartoonish on the surface, yet completely fathomable with our assumptions of both fields.

3. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (George Miller)

One of the best motion pictures released this year, and yet no one bothered to see it in the cinema including me as I was put off by its run time. Turned out time flew by when I did eventually see it, though..

Anya Taylor Joy does a sterling effort as an earlier incarnation of Charlize Theron's vengeful Vuvalini. In this current era of film making, it's a pleasant relief she wasn't turned into another boring girlboss. Her path of revenge isn't an easy road in the least. Her victories are earned.

However, as previously noted, the real star is Chris Hemsworth relishing the opportunity as the villainous antagonist.

The chances seem to be slim for another entry in the Mad Max universe; which is a massive shame for films in general

4. MadS (David Moreau)

David Moreau, the bloke responsible for the utterly compelling home-invasion thriller Them (2006) AKA Ils, achieved a blinding comeback with the electrifying zombie horror, MadS (2024).

Allegedly filmed in one take, you can't help but be impressed with the logistics involved with such an endeavour. The result is an anxiety ridden night for three French teens high on drugs during the beginning of the end for mankind.

The tone might overall be nihilistic, but it's a thoroughly riveting viewing experience, regardless.

A white-knuckle, roller coaster film which is highly recommended, as it's easily one of the greatest horror films of the year.

5. Anora (Sean Baker)

Anora's premise is essentially a crash and burn Cinderella story, where Mickey Madison's titular character, largely addressed as Ani in the film, is a spirited New York sex worker of Russian descent, who meets her Prince Charming in the form of the son of a wealthy Russian oligarch, Ivan (Mark Eidelstein), nicknamed Vanya. Her beauty and his money equates to the pair hitting it off and screwing like bunnies. The whirlwind romance eventually leads to them getting hitched in a Las Vegas chapel.

Both wildly funny and tragic at times, Anora's kinetic energy and palpable atmosphere contribute to a fresh paced and deeply engrossing film that make its long arse run time (around two hours and twenty minutes) whizz by.

6. Late Night with the Devil (Cameron Cairnes, Colin Cairnes)

½

The charm of the film is it how it initiates this awkward atmosphere of a live television show going wrong and escalating into a sense of dread and eventual insanity brimming with demonic horror.

It's amusing hearing the house band performing while being obviously rattled by the events going. The awkward laughs and applauses from the audience is another example. It's the kind of stuff I want to witness from a live television show going completely off the rails and Late Night with the Devil achieves that with a chef's kiss.

7. Kneecap (Rich Peppiatt)

½

It might offend some with its colourful language and heavy drug use, but Kneecap contains plenty of boisterous energy and smart social satire to be rollicking entertainment.
 
Set in Belfast, Northern Ireland, this raucous comedy/docu-drama is essentially a semi-fictional origin story of the rap group Kneecap.
 
Whilst dipping its toes in political waters, its irreverent humour manages to educate and shine light on cultural issues, without being in the least bit patronising or condescending about it. Achieving this so effortlessly, makes Kneecap one of this year's gems.

 8. Love Lies Bleeding (Rose Glass)

½

Love Lies Bleeding has a darkly comic sense of humour woven within its tapestry. Despite its explicit sexual scenes, it exudes an archaic and simplistic pulp novel vibe which is welcomingly refreshing in modern cinema's convoluted and bloviated story telling.

Set in a town in New Mexico, during the late 1980s, Love Lies Bleeding centres around the relationship between gym worker Lou (the piranha-jawed Kirsten Stewart) and body-building drifter Jackie (Katy O'Brian).

Whilst artistically surreal at times, Love Lies Bleeding is a welcome throwback to the neo-noir thrillers from the eighties which seem to have made a resurgence this year in the indie scene. Love Lies Bleeding was easily the top film amongst them.

9. Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (Soi Cheang)

½

Set during the eighties in Hong Kong's shanty city of Kowloon, the historical region resembles a post-apocalyptic nightmare rather than an actual urban province. The gargantuan ramshackle is the basis for the film's amazing look.

The fight choreography comes somewhere in between Steven Chao's cartoonish action in Kung Fu Hustle (2004) and the brutal grittiness of Gareth Evans' The Raid films. Thus, Twilight Warriors: Walled In does not disappoint with its entertaining action scenes.

Did not expect the emotionally effective drama sequences, either.The film is superior to the average John Wick-core actioner, which has long outstayed its welcome.

10. Azrael (E.L. Katz)

 ½

Post-apocalyptic films are a frequent setting in sci-fi and horror; practically a genre in itself with how common it's become, but there aren't that many out there with a Biblical theme.

Samara Weaving's performance is of someone completely put through the wringer. She’s able to tell a lot just with emotions in her facial expressions. Big blue eyes say a lot when contrasted with all the mud and blood she's covered in.

There are occasional texts that appear on screen that serve as quasi-Biblical like gospel to the proceedings in the film. They're few and infrequent, but lend well to the overall dark and brutal tone of the film.

11. Exhuma (Jang Jae-hyun)

½

Split into several chapters, Jang Jae-hyun's film contains two very distinctive halves. Initially, it focuses on being a supernatural mystery and dealing with bizarre procedures involved in lifting the curse safely.

It also casts doubt on the various mystics. Could they potentially be con artists exploiting people’s superstitions and desperation? 

Exhuma is a lore heavy folk horror; addressing the sins of the past which permeate throughout the film.

The cast, particularly Choi Min-sik's charismatic vape-smoking geomancer, are all solid, and do help buffer the two wildly different tones of the film.

Occasionally convoluted with unnecessary exposition, Exhuma still manages to be a highly mesmerising film.

12. Mars Express (Jérémie Périn)

½

A French, animated, science fiction film that proudly wears its inspirations - notably Blade Runner (1982) and Ghost in the Shell (1995) on its sleeve.

It forgoes the popular, Marvel standard which has infected other sci-fi properties over the years, opting for the type of philosophical themes you would expect from Isaac Assimov's novels.

Set in the year 2200, Périn manages to construct an incredible amount of world building in his debut. Undoubtedly the film's major strength.

Throughout its lean running time Mars Express impresses in marrying future tech in a human society; opening the books on various moral and ethical quandaries.


Shout out to writer and director Jane Giles for compiling the closest to a sensible selection amongst her peers in Sight and Sound's The 50 Best Films of 2024 list. Still need to check out her documentary film Scala!!! (2023).

Other winners this year:

Best Villain: Dementus (Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga)
Runner Up: Art the Clown (Terrifier 3)
 
Most Disturbing Film:  The Coffee Table
Runner Up: The Devil's Bath

Best Kill: Shower Scene (Terrifier 3)
Runner Up: Yoga Girl Scene (In A Violent Nature)
 
Best Fight: Good Guys Vs. King (Twilight Warriors: Walled In)
Runner Up: Yakuza (The Shadow Strays)
 
Best Chase: Octoboss Assault Scene (Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga)
Runner Up: Orange Walk Scene (Kneecap)

Most Superfluous Opening Text: Strange Darling

Greatest Fashion Statement: Ed Harris's Hair (Love Lies Bleeding)
Runner Up: Eric Cantona's Glasses (The Killer)
 
Best Homage/Tribute Scene: Nightmare Head on a Bed (MaXXXine)
 
Best Original Soundtrack Choon: Z Berg - Better the Devil (Strange Darling)
Runner Up: Tyler Bates - Video Store Villainy (MaXXXine)

Best Needledrop: De La Soul - Say No Go (Civil War)
Runner Up: Abwärts - Computerstaat (MadS)*
 
Not film related but The Penguin was the best TV I watched this year. Realistically speaking, I hardly watched any other new shows this year, but it's still an amazing series, regardless.
 
* Couldn't find the scene online.

Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Ani, Are You OK?

Anora (Sean Baker, 2024)

Despite all of its acclaim, Sean Baker's debut film Tangerine (2015) was a disappointmet to me. It was enough to put me off checking out his subsequent films. That was until Anora (2024) came along this year. The change of heart wasn't brought upon by it winning the coveted Palme d'Or this year (who honestly gives a f**k?), nor was it because Baker proved to be a one of us with his visit to the Severin cellar; instead it was largely due to Mickey Madison getting naked in it. Therefore, imagine my surprise when Anora turned out to be a legitimately great film and far more accessible than his debut. 

Anora's premise is essentially a crash and burn Cinderella story, where Mickey Madison's titular character, largely addressed as Ani in the film, is a spirited New York sex worker of Russian descent, who meets her Prince Charming in the form of the son of a wealthy Russian oligarch, Ivan (Mark Eidelstein), nicknamed Vanya. Her beauty and his money equates to the pair hitting it off and banging like bunnies. The whirlwind romance eventually leads to them getting hitched in a Las Vegas chapel. Classy! This in turn leads to Vanya's parents and handlers enforcing their powers over the newly weds.

Structurally, Anora's three acts represent a fantasy romance soured by reality. The first gear change is when Anora is forced to help the oligarch's Armenian goons in tracking down her absconded husband. It's at this point where we're introduced to Igor (Yuriy Borisov), the young Russian heavy, who might be the purest soul in saga. The third act represents Anora coming to terms with what she knew all along about her spoilt man child of a partner, along with the eventual face-off with her domineering, plastic surgery nightmare of a mother-in-law; essentially the film's matriarchal villain. The ordeal is bitter for our young protagonist. Anora is a film where you can predictably guess the final destination, but the journey there is what makes the whole experience so mesmerising.

Mikey Madison's performance is incredible. She paints her character with a battle hardened veneer, but there's a hidden side which fleetingly betrays her fragility within. It's often juxtaposed with her being so sexually confident and carefree on the outside, but there are moments of tenderness and weakness when she's alone on the screen. Which ultimately leads to the film's unforgettable conclusion. Borisov also manages to subvert by initially coming across as the typical Russian heavy you might witness in STV tier actioners, and yet, he is the most sympathetic to Anora's plight. Also, Karren Karagulian's Armenian goon Toros is a major source to much of Anora's second act coming across as a screwball comedy. This is a complete contrast to the more serious nature of the film's plot at that point.

Both wildly funny and tragic at times, Anora's kinetic energy and palpable atmosphere contribute to a fresh paced and deeply engrossing film that make its long arse run time (around two hours and twenty minutes) whizz by. Vanya's super-rich lifestyle and the eventual comedown is reminiscent to the outlier worlds of Martin Scorsese's questionable protagonists; another element to the film's draw. This is all cohesively gelled together via Mickey Madison's outstanding performance; undoubtedly one of the best this year. It's also the only film (out of three appearances) where Madison isn't set on fire.

Glad I gave Sean Baker another chance as Anora proved it wasn't the dreaded tart-with-a-heart rom-com, à la Pretty Woman (1990) that I expected. What I got was essentially a crushing take on the pursuit of the American Dream and those who fall victim to it. Remarkably, Anora also happens to be an unexpectedly entertaining comedy, so think of that what you will. 

A genuinely great film, and probably the final high note of 2024.