Up to Snuff

Tesis (Alejandro Amenábar, 1996)

Video cassettes brought cinema to our homes; spawning a new era in how we watch films. Gone was the ritualistic process of having to find out what the local screenings were in advance; along with the potential of a film being ruined by a bunch of annoying twats sat in the auditorium. Video brought convenience to the masses. It was capable of making us more prone to analyse what we watched more forensically. It also opened a pandora's box, as more mature content, bereft of a video classification, became more accessible to minors; including rejected theatrical titles which found a second chance on the home format. It would lead to the Video Nasty hysteria. More importantly, it would usher in a new generation of extreme cinema aficionados and the effects of video violence upon society. Hence, the impetus to Alejandro Amenábar Tesis (AKA Thesis, 1996).

Ángela Márquez (Ana Torrent), a student at the Complutense University of Madrid, is researching the effects of audiovisual violence upon society for her thesis. She's introduced in Amenábar's film onboard a stationary train. Along with her fellow passengers, she's made to alight from the transport, as a person had thrown themselves in front of the tracks. With morbid curiosity, she scrambles to get a peak at the gory mess. An official guides her away from the gruesome sight. Ángela's ghoulish interest is also evident when she asks her tutor, Professor Figueroa (Miguel Picazo), to lend her some dodgy tapes from the university's video archives; for research purposes, of course. This begs the question: what kind of reputable educational establishment would have morally reprehensible content on its shelves? Ángela also enlists the help of weirdo student Chema (Fele Martinez), a loner known for having an appetite for extreme horror and pornographic films. 

The mystery unfolds once Ángela's professor stumbles upon a mysterious iron door in the archives and discovers a room with video tapes. Figueroa comes to an unfortunate end, when Ángela finds him dead in the screening room; apparently while watching the tape he retrieved from the archives. Whether or not foul play was at hand, remains ambiguous. However, given the professor's obese state and constant respiratory wheezing, he could have just as well popped his clogs whilst watching Mary Poppins (1964). Our protagonist grabs the tape and rushes back home, without reporting the professor's death to anyone.

Ángela attempts to watch the tape at home, but is too afraid of whatever horrors she will see. Instead, our protagonist records its sounds onto an audio cassette. Listening on her walkman, the chilling sounds of a girl being tortured are too much for her. Therefore, it's off to Chema's fly-tip of a hovel to get him to watch it and describe what's occurring on-screen while her back is turned. Whist her back is turned and Chema's grisly intrigue, the pair stumble upon the revelation that it's an actual snuff tape. To drive it closer to home, Chema recognises the victim as a former university student who disappeared a couple of years prior. Thus, much like that all too familiar giallo trope, Ángela and Chema become unwitting amateur sleuths in a film laden with curveballs and misdirections to sate fans of Hitchcock style thrillers and Italian gialli.

Apart from its dark plot, heightened tensions and palpable suspense, what really drives Tesis forward is how well written the characters are. Ángela and Chema are like oil and water. At first, our heroine is like a moth to a flame in her morbid curiosity. She can barely watch the horrors which draw her, but she gradually is able to face it once she spends more time with Chema. A similar transformation happens to her sidekick. He becomes much warmer to Ángela, once she realised, much of his obnoxiousness and edge lord behaviour is more or less a personal shield in dealing with the outside world. Ought to add, despite living in absolute filth, Chema is right up there Mark Petrie, Tommy Jarvis and Charley Brewster as great fictional horror aficionados. Chema unashamedly wearing a Cannibal Holocaust (1980) T-shirt to university and adorning posters of Shocker (1989) and Alien 3 (1992) in his grotty bathroom speak volumes to me. A stark contrast to Ángela's solitary film poster in her bedroom of My Own Private Idaho (1991). Which has me cheering for him to not to die, solve the mystery and get the girl, even if he does give off school shooter vibes.

 

Bad boy Bosco Herranz (Eduardo Noriega) enters the fray as another integral character in the film. He's spotted by Ángela operating the same model video camera linked with the recording of the snuff film. Equally damning, is his association with the victim from the tape. Looking like Spain's answer to Paul Walker (Pablo Juaquez, if you will), Bozco has Ángela both swooning and terrified of him. A key sequence reveals Ángela's mental being, as she dreams of having sex with Bozco, before he stabs her. Worth mentioning, both Ángela's mother and sister are smitten when Bozco charms his way into their house. The complete chad to Chema's virgin. 

Despite the few instances which defy logic (the secret area behind the metallic door in the university's video archives, being the obvious one), a night club playing the most atrocious euro techno music, and being around fifteen minutes too long, there's a lot I like about Alejandro Amenábar's thriller. Abundant plot twists and a number of red herrings, make it constantly engaging. It's all the more impressive once you realise this is incredibly low budget, written and helmed by a twenty three year old film graduate shooting at his university, and more importantly, more enjoyable than Mute Witness (1995) and 8mm (1999), two other Hitchcockian style thrillers from around that era, also themed around snuff films.

Tesis swept up all the major Goya awards (Spain's answer to the Oscars) in 1997. Alejandro Amenábar would follow-up its success with his science fiction drama Open Your Eyes (1997). He would cast both Martinez and Noriega again, alongside the gorgeous Penelope Cruz. It would get the American remake treatment, retitled to Vanilla Sky (2001) and starring action movie midget Tom Cruise. The remake would also feature Penelope Cruz reprising her role. Amenábar would also deliver The Others (2001), a fantastic supernatural chiller with Cruise's other half at the time, Nicole Kidman. No idea what Amenábar is churning out today, but I can confidently claim, he came out of the gate running with his impressive talent as both a writer and director. Tesis is superb mystery thriller.

Here's a currently working YouTube link of Tesis. Not sure how long it will remain, though,

Gesundheit!

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (Joseph Sargent, 1974)

Always found films more educational than the what was taught to me at school. John Sargent's cult classic crime thriller The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974), managed to teach me more about geography, history and sociology via the warm and comforting glow my parent's TV screen rather than any grotty school classroom. The film perfectly encapsulated my favourite era in American cinema, along with what's arguably its most photogenic city — New York City of the 1970s. The Taking of Pelham One Two Three would lovingly depict New Yorkers as direct, opinionated and completely sarcastic. These traits would perfectly compliment the the gritty, run down backdrops of the city at that time. Thus, to an outsider like myself, the urban grime of the Big Apple and its inhabitants, would come across as both extreme and fascinating to a young'un. Therefore, it's even more magical when a film like The Taking of Pelham One Two Three achieves a tensely kinetic crime caper, whilst simultaneously satirising and glorifying the fine city's inhabitants.

Adapted from John Godey's (a pseudonym of the author Morgan Freedgood) 1973 novel, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three revolves around the hijacking of a NYC subway train by four armed men wearing disguises. Using colour themed aliases that Quentin Tarantino would obviously be inspired by in Reservoir Dogs (1992), Mr. Blue (Robert Shaw), Mr. Green (Martin Balsam), Mr. Brown (Earl Hindman) and Mr. Grey (Hector Elizondo), take control of the Pelham 1-2-3 train, including its seventeen passengers and conductor as their hostages. Their demand is a one million dollar ransom within the hour, otherwise a hostage will be executed after every late minute. Thus, the respective authorities have little time to react, resolve and end this alarming situation.

Perhaps the most novel aspect about the film is its unlikely protagonist. We're introduced to New York City Transit Police Lieutenant Zachary Garber (Walter Matthau) sleeping on the job. He's immediately woken up from his slumber and tasked with being the tour guide for a group of Japanese transit envoys. It's not long until he's put through the ringer as the hostage negotiator. The casting in The Taking of Pelham One Two Three might be one of the most perfect selections to represent the grime-ridden and stagnant state of '70s NYC; practically everyone in it looks middle-aged, out of shape, poorly dressed and absolutely miserable, with the craggy Matthau being the pièce de résistance. His world-weary and sullen mug is complimented with one of the most horrendous fashion choices to grace a man, donning an awful chequered shirt and a bright yellow kipper tie beneath a school teacher blazer. And yet, he manages to shine as the negotiator during the hijacking, whilst also liaising with the police authorities and his cynical colleagues, all in a horrendously vomit coloured command centre. For much of the film, Matthau is stationed in one single location, and yet, his performance is so kinetic that it lends incredibly to all the film's fast and tense pacing.

Cutting through this vivid depiction of New York City and its cynical populace is our main antagonist, Robert Shaw's Mr. Blue. Shaw plays the part with his natural English accent, which makes him an obvious standout in the film. Mr. Blue is a complete professional. We learn he comes from a military background and was once a mercenary. A ruthless perfectionist, who has no qualms over shooting any of his hostages. However, there is a human side to this character which provides plenty of depth to him. His rapport with Martin Balsam's Mr. Green is friendly and warm; the complete opposite when dealing with Hector Elizondo's irksome hothead Mr. Grey. His intercom conversations with Garber are what really make the film shine. They're what make tensions even more palpable and occasionally leading to some cathartic jokes which lighten the mood.

Garber's intercom conversations with Mr. Blue will ultimately be the undoing of Balsam's Mr. Green, as he's riddled with a cold and very often sneezing in the background. Garber's "Gesundheit!" being the film's last word when he's eventually banged to rights.

Peter Stone's screenplay is razor sharp in its satire. The ludicrous audacity of a subway train being taken hostage is greeted with complete disbelief from all the authorities. Correll (Dick O'Neill), a transit supervisor and a complete thorn at Garber's side during the hostage negotiations, hilariously exclaims, "Screw the God damn passengers! What the hell did they expect for their lousy thirty-five cents; to live forever?"effectively summing up much of the film's cynical tone. An underrated highlight is the political exchange between the flu-ridden mayor and his deputy whilst they're debating over paying the ransom:

Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: You know what they're going to say. The Times is going to support you. The News is going to knock you. The Post will take both sides at the same time. The rich will support you, likewise the blacks, and the Puerto Ricans won't give a shit. So come on, Al, quit stalling!
Mayor: Will you stop bullying everybody, Warren? This is supposed to be a democracy!
Deputy Mayor Warren LaSalle: Wise up, for Christ's sake, we're trying to run a city, not a God damn democracy! Al, quit farting around; we've got to pay! 

The humour isn't just restricted to satire and cynicism, either. One of the hostages, a drunk woman, simply credited as 'The Drunk' completely sleeps throughout her entire ordeal. Mr. Blue declaring she'd be less of a bother while passed out. Amongst the other hostages is an undercover cop dressed as a hippie. His identity is not revealed until a gunfire shoot out whilst the criminals prepare to get away. Garber coming to the injured cop's aid with the hilarious, "We'll have an ambulance here in no time, miss. Everything's gonna be okay!". 

The final major highlight is unreservedly David Shire's bombastic score for The Taking of Pelham One Two Three. If ever a theme perfectly encompassed the urban grittiness of '70s New York City, it's his bone shaking drums and guttural horns which appear throughout as the leitmotif for the film's score. Ironically, the soundtrack was recorded in Los Angeles, I recently discovered in a bonus feature from the film's 4K UHD release. Other noteworthy tracks are the sample worthy Mini-Manhunt and the uptempo Money Montage which both vividly compliment key scenes from the film.

David Shire | Main Title

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three | Soundtrack | 1974 

Yet to see Joseph Sargent's 1983 horror anthology, Nightmares (how many horror flicks out there with that same title?), but The Taking of Pelham One Two Three is objectively better than the other three movies of his that I have seen; namely the sci-fi thriller The Forbin Project (1971), the biopic MacArthur (1977) and the dreadful Jaws: The Revenge (1987). In terms of New York's finest, it's right up there with the likes of Death Wish (1974) and Taxi Driver (1976) with its beautifully ugly aesthetic of a bygone era. More impotantly, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three truly represents NYC's multiethnic melting pot by unifying everyone in their cynicism and nihilism in having to live in such a broken and dilapidated city. As such, it's why the comedy works so perfectly in the midsts of being confined to a crime caper. It's also why a sour-faced Walter Mattheau thrives as the unlikely protagonist, and it's why I find myself rooting for Mr. Green as an underdog getting back at the system.

The film spawned two remakes: one a 1998 TV movie; the other, Tony Scott's 2009 film starring Denzel Washington and John Travolta. Sargent's original is unquestionably far superior than those films. Furthermore, it's one of cinema's greatest heist movies.

Bright Young Things

Captain Jean-Luc Picard's popular quote, "All you need to make a movie is a girl and a gun." proved accurate for hipster film maker and Criterion darling Harmony Korine. He gave us Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson committing armed robberies all over Miami in their bikinis in Spring Breakers (2012), the only Harmony Korine film I've ever watched more than once.

Fast forward to today, and a sequel is in the works. Sure, that's no surprise in these money-grubbing and cynical times, but more optimistically, it heralds the long awaited return of Matthew Bright, the writer and director responsible for the highly enjoyable Freeway films, along with the unexpectedly entertaining Ted Bundy (2002). 

Bright quit films shortly after he was fired from his movie Tiptoes (2002), that starred the British actor Gary Oldman playing a dwarf. According to a web interview which might be as old as GeoCities, Bright went to live somewhere exotic and paint pictures; much like Tom Baker in The Vault of Horror (1973).

Spring Breakers 2 could be a potentially worthy sequel, given the original film had some obvious elements with Bright's Freeway movies. Therefore, it's definitely a film to keep a look out for whenever it eventually does get released.

Leave it to the Daily Mail to get Harmony Korine mixed up with Matthew Bright, along with crediting Reese Witherspoon in the wrong Freeway movie. A bit like your host intentionally getting French New Wave directors jumbled up with Star Trek characters. 

Doctor Do Little

Given my recent review of the first Doctor Who film, it's only right I inflict some of my thoughts on this blog for the current season of the show, which ended over the weekend. With the exception of an upcoming spin-off, the chances of the series returning anytime soon doesn't look too promising. Therefore, I've indulged in a personal rundown on the recent season of the show and the short tenure of its Fifteenth Doctor, as played by Ncuti Gatwa:

The Robot Revolution

AKA, 'Planet of the Incels'. Kicking off the season premiere with a prologue which introduces the Doctor's new companion, Belinda Chandra (Varada Sethu). A certificate naming a distant planet after Belinda is given to her by her controlling boyfriend, Alan. Years later, she's  abducted by giant robots and taken to that very same planet, Missbelindachandra. When the villain is revealed to be Belinda's ex, 'The Robot Revolution' serves as a topical warning over A.I. and the abusers who wield it. Al is reduced to a microscopic embryo in the final act, and effectively killed by the comical cleaning roomba which sweeps him up. Bizarrely, the Doctor celebrates Al's demise with a joyful high kick. The season premiere also begins the mystery as to why the Doctor can't return Belinda back to Earth on 24th of May.

'The Robot Revolution' is a fairly so-so episode, but a notable improvement over the previous season's woeful opener, 'Space Babies'. Varada Sethu playing the reluctant companion is reminiscent of Tegan Jankova from the classic era of the series. Which makes her at the very least an interesting character, initially. The retro look of the robots and the rocket ship give off vintage sci-fi aesthetic, but the rest of the production resembles an MCU film. As a result, it all looks a and feels like a cartoon. Rating: 4/10 

Lux 

Speaking of cartoons, here's a literal one and another instance of Russell T Davies's driving obsession with god entities, AKA, the Pantheon of Discord, from the previous series. 'Lux' is the God of Light possessing Mr. Ring-a-ding, a Max Fleischer style cartoon character come to life in a Fifties cinema, somewhere in Miami. A device known as the vindicator is this series' macguffin in helping Belinda get back home. Obviously, it doesn't work too well as they come here instead.

As tedious as all this Pantheon of Discord is, this might be a rare instance where it isn't so irksome. The whole meta concept of the Doctor and Belinda being trapped in a celluloid film is at the least, a novel situation for the time lord. What's more, the episode's antagonist becomes more terrifying as he evolves into being three-dimensional, so there are elements of horror there, too. Sadly, RTD's writing lets this episode down as both the Doctor and Belinda aren't the ones who save the day. It's Linus Roache's cinema projectionist that does, robbing our main characters' sense of urgency; resulting in an underwhelming ending, where the villain expands into nothing in space.

There's some unintentional comedy once the Doctor and Belinda meet a sad looking bunch of Doctor Who fans. Is this how RTD envisions Doctor Who fans to look and behave? Nevertheless, it leads into some eye-rolling meta commentary regarding the actual show; including an obvious dig at the show's haters with its addressing of  #RIPDoctorWho. Rating: 5/10 

The Well

Set on a mysterious planet, half a million years in the future, 'The Well' is the most traditional sci-fi episode, harkening back to RTD's first tenure as show-runner on the series. More accurately, 'The Well' is a sequel to a beloved episode of his 'Midnight'.

Disabled cook, Aliss Fenly (Rose Aylling-Ellis), is the sole survivor of a mining colony slaughter. She is discovered by the Doctor, Belinda and a squad of Marines investigating the mining base. It's not long before the kills start happening again.

Easily, a return to vintage Nu-Who, and that's largely because it carries that dark, sci-fi horror atmosphere which was once synonymous back in the day. That's all thrown away once the Doctor boosts into bombastic action to resolve the situation and Murray Gold's upbeat score; completely changing the sci-fi horror element which initially made it so engrossing. Yet again, it's a secondary character who saves the day (or maybe not) with her sacrifice helping the Doctor and Belinda to escape from the mining world.

Nevertheless, the episode does manage to end on a positive note, thanks to its twist ending and the possible suggestion of another future story involving the Midnight entity. The highlight of the season, in my opinion. Rating: 6/10 

Lucky Day

We catch up with the Fifteenth Doctor's first companion, Ruby Sunday (Millie Gibson, no relation to Mel), AKA the show's very own Rey Skywalker as revealed by RTD. She's found true love with popular podcaster, Conrad Clark (Jonah Hauer-King). 

Sadly, it turns out Conrad is a slime ball, and has been exploiting Ruby to fulfil his own personal agenda in exposing U.N.I.T (Unified Intelligence Taskforce - should be U.I.T., innit?).

'Lucky Day' serves as the show's critique on the rising influence of fake news and the increasing popularity of alternative media; as opposed to traditional fake news, I suppose. It's a Doctor Who-lite episode, yet the Doctor does manage to turn up near the end. His words, an obvious extension of RTD, via his disciple, this episode's scriptwriter Peter McTighe, and their critique on populism and the alternative media.

"You have to be invited into my TARDIS, Conrad. To be special. But you? You're special... for all the wrong reasons. You see, I am fighting a battle on behalf of everyday people... who just want to get through their day, and feel safe, and warm, and fed. And then along comes this... noise. All day long, this relentless noise. Cowards like you, weaponising lies, taking people's insecurity and fear and making it currency. You are exhausting. You stamp on the truth, choke our bandwidth and shred our patience. Because the only strategy you have is to wear us down. But the thing is, Conrad, I have energy to burn and all the time in the universe."—The Doctor

This is an episode where the plot holes become more apparent the more you think about it, e.g. Conrad knowing about the Doctor, yet still determined to expose UNIT as scaremongers and deceivers. Still, despite the flaws, 'Lucky Day' is one of the highlights of the series, thanks to Millie Gibson's performance  and being able to carry an episode on her own (like last season's '73 Yards'). There's also Conrad's smug retort to the Doctor, "I don't respect your reality, Doctor. I reject it. So put me back in my prison and get off my world." which I found surprisingly based for a villain who's been told by the Doctor he'd be kicking the bucket at the age of forty-nine in a prison cell. Rating: 5/10 

The Story and the Engine

While setting another course point for the vindicator in Lagos, Nigeria in the year 2019 (why that particular year, it's never explained), the Doctor decides to get a haircut. It's also where he feels ethnically comfortable in his current incarnation. Our protagonist finds himself trapped with the fellow patrons inside the barbershop. This particular barber shop happens to be riding on the back of a giant spider travelling through space and fuelled by the telling of folk tales and stories. 

It's Doctor Who meets Desmonds (1989-1994) in yet another episode which is more fantasy and magic  than science fiction. Which makes this one of the less appealing episodes of the series, personally. 

The potential of giving a folk horror story a sci-fi spin, a la the amazing Third Doctor serial, 'The Dæmons', is completely squandered here, making this an underwhelming and largely boring watch. What's more, the villain of the episode, who is determined to sacrifice the universe to kill the Pantheon of Discord, is treated with more sympathy than some of the other rotten eggs featured in this series. Which makes Gatwa's Doctor such an inconsistent character and difficult to get a grasp of.

Written by playwright Inua Ellams, responsible for creating a theatrical production called Barber Shop Chronicles, which also shares the theme of various barber shop patrons telling their stories, this is effectively an adaptation of it shoved into Doctor Who (no pun intended). It might have worked given a bit more development, but the sci-fi element is largely missing here, despite having a giant spider in space. As a result, I was bored and mentally checked out around twenty minute mark. Rating 3/10 

The Interstellar Song Contest

The Doctor is still struggling to return Belinda back home, but they've wondered hundreds of years in the future on a space station hosting the annual Interstellar Song Contest broadcast across the galaxies.

A play on the kitsch value of the current Eurovision Song Contest, that's nothing but a blatant vote rigging tournament where various countries vote for their bordering neighbours. Vapid brainlets are equally performative in their cultural politics as their rancid stage number.

Fortunately, beneath the camp and excess, there's a half decent plot here, where a terrorist threatens the lives of trillions as revenge for his home planet being pillaged and destroyed for its honey. Obviously, comparisons to current events in the world are intentional, but at the very least Kid (Freddie Fox), the horned antagonist of the episode, has a bit more depth to him in comparison to some of the other recurring characters on the show; including the Fifteenth Doctor. 

Plot conveniences, like a couple who happen to be the very people able to resuscitate the Doctor after he experiences flying in the freezing vacuum of space with a confetti cannon, and who are also able to pluck the thousands of audience attendees in zero gravity in next to no time while Bucks Fizz plays in the background, robs the episode of the horrendous atrocity committed by Kid. However, the Doctor torturing our villain is an unexpected turn; one that's genuinely interesting, as it conjures the possibility of the Valeyard, the dark future incarnation of the Doctor, potentially making an appearance (he doesn't). The Doctor is stopped from causing further pain to the terrorist after a vision of his grand daughter Susan Foreman (Carol Anne Ford) begs him to stop. Can't wait to see her again! The vindicator finally has the necessary information to get Belinda back home, but once they arrive in the TARDIS, the ship's doors are detroyed. Can't wait for a viable explanation!

The prolonged mystery box that is Mrs. Flood (Anita Dobson) is finally revealed as the Rani (like we predictably suspected); hilariously in a mid-credits scene. It's followed by the mythical bi-generation occurring for a second time in two years and introducing a more dominant Rani (Archie Panjabi). Can't wait to see her in action. Rating 5/10 

Wish World

This is it, the penultimate episode of the series. The pawns are all in place and the game is set. Not before we see the Rani galloping to some nineteenth century shack in Bavaria and abducting some newborn baby able to grant wishes from his family. More magic!

Thus, the newborn, Conrad and the Ranis are the Unholy Trinity. They've created an Orwellian world, where an obedient and traditionalist society dwells  beneath their floating bone palace.

The Doctor and Belinda are a married couple and they even have a young daughter called Poppy. Ruby is unaffected by this new reality and attempts to convince the Doctor all is not right in this world. She manages to sow the seeds of doubt which tend to result in cups falling through tables in this world. The fact that giant bone dinosaurs walk around London like AT-AT walkers ought to have been convincing on their own, don't you think?

This really ought to have been called 'Wishy Washy World' as it's a poorly written episode that really goes nowhere for much of its run time. The scenes where the Ranis are on screen are the rare positives about this penultimate episode. Having one of the Rani's providing a giant exposition dump and telling the viewer that it isn't exposition, isn't going to convince anyone.

To highlight how underwhelming this episode is, last season's penultimate episode, 'The Legend of Ruby Sunday' had at the very least revealed the return of the powerful villain Sutekh from 'Pyramids of Mars'; albeit as a giant CGI dog that looked like Roland Rat on crack, who'd been squatting on top of the TARDIS. Nevertheless, it was an incredible cliffhanger which left me genuinely excited for the finale. This time, the writing was horrid. So many elements and questions which needed answering, and yet nothing resolved for this episode; in fact more questions like the revelation of Poppy being the Doctor's daughter were introduced. Rating 2/10 

The Reality War 

It's the big one! Will RTD answer those all important questions and mystery boxes he introduced in the show since his return? Will he explain the bi-generations. Will the Doctor find Susan? How come Poppy is the Doctor's daughter? How will the Doctor defeat the two Ranis? Will Rogue be rescued from the Hell dimension? Will we get an explanation for all those immersion breaking fourth wall breaks? Will Russell answer all of these important questions in a little over sixty minutes? Short answer: He doesn't.

Made the rookie mistake of watching last season's finale, 'Empire of Death' completely sober. Thus, it wasn't even drunkenly hilarious seeing Sutekh being dragged on a leash in the vortex. On this occasion, I'd already downed a few glasses of Jamieson's before The Hit List had even ended. 

Overall, this was a dreadful finale. Perhaps the biggest gaffe, was how the antagonists were dispatched so swiftly during this complete dross. Archie Panjabi's Rani being eaten by Omega was a huge anticlimax; even worse, is Omega conveniently being sent back to his dimension after only two minutes of actual screen time. An even worse fate is Conrad Clark working as a kitchen cleaner in South London restaurant. Much of the episode being boringly spent on Poppy, who effectively proved to be an anticlimactic non-entity, (just like Ruby Sunday revealed as an ordinary human being in the prior season finale, despite possessing the power to make it snow) forced the episode to tick by at a crawling pace. Why invest so much time towards such a fundamentally disappointing subplot?

The one potentially redeeming moment in this diversionary subplot, is when Belinda and Poppy are isolated inside the hastily constructed Zero Room. Naively thought this was Russell ingeniously leading up to the discovery of the Timeless Child being found by Tectuen, from Chris Chibnall's controversial episode. Turned out it wasn't, along with Belinda being robbed of any further development and essentially being written out as another forgettable companion.

As well as the alcohol, the advanced knowledge regarding the outlandish, online rumours of the Thirteenth Doctor's brief cameo and the Doctor regenerating into Billie Piper, cushioned the crushing cringe for me. Although, I didn't instantly recognise Piper's face at first with all that filler and botox used on her face. Both of these scenes screamed of reshoots, and cemented the rumours of Ncuti Gatwa's abrupt departure from the series.

In conclusion: This was an abysmal mess and a terrible finale; one that any self respecting exec over at the BBC would want to call an emergency board meeting. Time to give it a rest while some new blood and fresh talent can be found. A better prospect than having to endure Russel T. Davies squatting over a cult series and defecating all over its legacy for another season. Rating 1/10 

Won't pretend I enjoyed Gatwa's portrayal of the Doctor. He was far closer to playing Mindbender Futurama than an ancient Time Lord from the distant world of Gallifrey. He hardly got to do anything during his short stint in the role; other than be vain, smug and cry on cue. More critically, he lacked the convictions in his performances as the Doctor. Hence, he came across as rather shallow. There were rare moments, where he showed some potential, but it was always offset with him being just loud, annoying and superficial. What we got was Ncuti Gatwa being Ncuti Gatwa. That's not to say he was completely to blame, however. If anything, much like Jodie Whittaker, he was horribly miscast for the lead. A stunt cast; like every other actor who has followed Peter Capaldi's Twelfth Doctor.

The real blame is undoubtedly, Russel T. Davies. The same man who breathed new life into the property in 2005, has suffocated it with an unchecked ego, soap operatic writing and revisionist retcons. The focus on grand spectacle, mystery boxes, and nostalgia bait rather than cohesive plot lines, satisfying character arcs and a sense of responsibility towards this beloved property, have been catastrophic. This was a show that desperately needed rescuing after Chris Chibnall's incompetence as its previous show runner. If anything, RTD doubled and tripled down, which resulted in the show's even further decline in quality; reflected in a massive drop of viewers.

Hopefully, a lesson might have been learnt from all this. Who knows?

Viewings: May 2025

Ladies and gentlemen, we got 'em. Took long enough for 2025 to deliver a couple of films worthy of praise from me: Co-directors Alex Garland and Ray Mendoza's Warfare managed to be an  uncompromising and highly exhilarating dose of military combat; one that I won't forget anytime soon. Emilie Blickfeldt's beautiful, dark twisted fairy tale The Ugly Stepsister turned out to be a real surprise, as its promotional trailer was shamelessly cashing-in on the success of The Substance (2024). Turned out to have its own sense of identity and stood out on its own. Such a shame both of these films were only fleetingly available in some cinemas.

Elsewhere, the rest of this month's highlights were revisiting some personal classics. Wanted to review them, however, free time and a fried brain proved otherwise.

 

Film:

Screaming Mimi (Gerd Oswald, 1958)*

Blood and Roses (Roger Vadim, 1960)*

Eyes Without a Face (Georges Franju, 1960)

Dr. Who and the Daleks (Gordon Flemyng, 1965)

The Shuttered Room (David Greene, 1967)*

Where Eagles Dare (Brian G. Hutton, 1968)

The Tell-Tale Heart (Ernest Morris, 1960)*

And Soon the Darkness (Robert Fuest, 1970)

Tenebrae (Dario Argento, 1982)

Mute Witness (Anthony Waller, 1995)*

Antiporno (Sion Sono, 2016)*

Freaky Tales (Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck, 2024/2025)*

The Ugly Stepsister (Emilie Blichfeldt, 2025)*

Warfare (Alex Garland, Ray Mendoza, 2025)*

 

Television:

Doctor Who - ‘The Curse of Peladon’ (Lennie Mayne, 1972)

Doctor Who - 'Arc of Infinity' (Ron Jones, 1983)

Torchwood - Season 1, Episodes 1-3 (Brian Kelly, Colin Teague, 2006)*

Doctor Who - Season 2, Episodes 4-8 (Various, 2025)*

Crystal Palace vs. Manchester City - F.A. Cup Final (2025)

Mastermind - Episodes 30 & 31 (Bill Wright 2024/2025)*

 

*First time viewings.

 

Dada Debaser Notes:

• Managed to post my epic The Wicker Man (1973) review on the most relevant day of the year.
• Finally managed to watch Blood and Roses and I enjoyed it despite its slow pacing. Quite controversial for its time I suppose, given its sapphic content. Praying for a high definition release, as it's a gorgeous film that deserves some love.  
• Screaming Mimi is credited as an early forerunner to the Giallo genre by film historians. Too bad a more competent director like Otto Preminger didn't direct it, however, as it's lifelessly dull. Anita Ekberg's sex appeal is the obvious highlight, while an awful cover of Put the Blame on Mame sung by Gypsy Rose Lee is the obvious low. Ekberg's guard dog might have been the most professional performer in the film, in my opinion. Favourite line: "A great dame with a Great Dane".
• Loved the incredible first act of Hitchcockian thriller Mute Witness, but it fell apart afterwards, becoming both generic and predictable. Fay Ripley speaks with a terrible American accent in her supporting role.
• Speaking of fake American accents, The Shuttered Room is the second film I've seen over the last couple of months where Oliver Reed plays the gang leader of a bunch of feckless youths. Carol Lynley's performance and the aforementioned Reed are the only positive things about this proto-Straw Dogs horror thriller.
  
• Haven't enjoyed anything post Hate trilogy from cancelled Japanese auteur Sion Sono. Antiporno might be the closest I suppose, but I doubt I'll ever watch it again.
• Punks vs. neo-Nazis. Too $hort vs. Danger Zone. Pedro Pascal vs. my tolerance of him. How do you mess up Freaky Tales; an anthology set in 1987 Oakland, referencing The Lost Boys, Repo Man and Creepshow 2? By two hipsters badly copying Quentin Tarantino's work and style. Tom Hanks's cameo as a film buff, video store clerk was pure eye-rolling cringe. Naturally, Letterboxd brainlets lapped it up. Could not wait for this to end.
• The Beeb missed a golden opportunity not calling that one recent episode of Doctor Who 'The Two Ranis'.

In Other Media: 

At least some fears over A.I. were quelled by Neural Viz's creatively unique web-series set in the Monoverse. Tolkien levels of lore effectively told through a series of comedy shorts. Binged the entire channel.

Also watched an old BBC report on BIG JIM's Big BOOZY Bike Trip to Braemar. A follow-up episode on his return journey would have provided some very necessary closure.

Destination Skaro

Dr. Who and the Daleks (Gordon Flemyng, 1965)

Speculation over the fate of the BBC's flagship sci-fi series Doctor Who (1963 - 2025) has been rife recently. Rather than offer my own uninformed opinion to the mix, like everybody else, what better way to side-step it all by revisiting Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965)? The first feature film outing of the renowned space and time traveller.

Adapted from Terry Nation's 'The Daleks', the second ever story in the long running series, the titular doctor (Peter Cushing) inadvertently travels to a mysterious distant planet with his TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension in Space) ship. The Doctor is joined by his three companions; his two grand daughters, the prepubescent Susan (Roberta Tovey) the beehived Barbara (Jennie Linden), and Barbara's comical boyfriend, Ian (Roy Castle). Die-hard Whovians will no doubt already be seething just reading all this, as Susan is the only real relation of the Doctor in the television series, and the other two characters, are her school teachers. The Doctor also happens to be human in this film. Nerds are on on Def Con One just reading that.

This isn't going to be a run down pointing out all the differences between the televised serial and the abridged film adaptation, otherwise we'll be here all day. It's merely to make aware various elements were either changed or omitted from the televised seven part serial, which was almost three hours long in total, to work with the confines of an eighty-three minute feature film. The screenplay was written by American film writer and producer Milton Subotsky, the creative mastermind of the legendary film company Amicus Productions. While ageing Whovians might be disgruntled with all the inaccuracies inherent in the film adaptation and driven to leaving bitter reviews on IMDb, Subotsky's production does triumphantly showcase the fun aspects of a Doctor Who adventure; something tragically forgotten today.

The plot to Dr. Who and the Daleks is a little reminiscent to H.G. Wells's dystopian science fiction novella The Time Machine. Both concern a time travel adventure set millennia after a post-apocalypse involving two contrasting races. One being the monstrously cruel oppressor; the other being docile, peace-loving hippies. Caught in between both societies, is the Doctor and his companions. The film shows our characters trying to make sense of the planet and the situation. It then shifts into our cast helping to tip the balance. Thus, the Thals, the hippie-like pacifists, described by film critic Kim Newman as "The gayest tribe in the universe", are Wells's Elois. The pepper pot, space Nazis known as the Daleks being comparable to the grotesque Morlocks.

Dr. Who and the Daleks' biggest highlight is its superb production. The film is a visual treat to the eye. The petrified forest under a turquoise light evokes Mario Bava gothic horror vibes. Adorned on the walls of the Dalek city is metallic coloured foil and various lava lamps in the background. They intersperse the omnipresent salmon pink and silver grey rooms and hallways of the city. The Doctor's very own transport, the TARDIS, is a big contrast to the one featured in the television series, as it resembles a mad professor's laboratory with wires hanging everywhere compared to the pristine and clinical one found in the show during this era.

The real success is the beefed up design of the Daleks. The iconic sink plunger is absent on some of the film Daleks, and replaced with a metallic claw. Their bumper trim is much thicker, and the light bulbs on their metallic domes are much larger. The metal armoured casings which house the mutants aliens are in various different colour ranges; reflecting the different ranks in the Dalek hierarchy. The leader is possibly the coolest of the lot with its black and gold casing. It's no surprise that the Daleks would be the obvious enemies involved in the Doctor's first film outing, and not the last either.

Peter Cushing's portrayal of the Doctor might not be canonical to diehard Whovians, but his performance is top notch, regardless. If anything, playing a cantankerous, elderly inventor on an adventure through space and time, is far more believable and entertaining than some of the actual legitimate incarnations of the character in the series. Cushing obviously borrows from William Hartnell's performances of the Doctor, which was the first incarnation of the character at the time. However, Cushing is obviously more animated as the grey haired grand father, as he was still in his early fifties. Cushing would deliver more of the same dotty old grand dad eccentricities in the sequel Daleks' Invasion Earth 2150 A.D. (1966) and the unrelated At the Earth's Core (1976), both of which also Amicus films produced by Subotsky.

Tonally, the film is inconsistent, which, along with its '60s production design, makes it a surreal viewing experience at times. This is due to Dr. Who and the Daleks containing a rather serious plot concerning the very existence of the Thals being critical, but the film offsets it with some light entertainment comedy scattered here and there. It's bizarre seeing Roy Castle performing a Norman Wisdom style slapstick routine trying to open an automatic door, while in another scene, the chilling screams of a Thal can be heard while being devoured by a bog monster. Perhaps the most horrifying sight, is the mutated hand of a Dalek emerging from underneath a plastic shower curtain which was comically used in killing it. But I suppose these tonal shifts make sense, as the youngest grand daughter, Susan is depicted as a child in the film as opposed to her TV incarnation, thus the dread in the series is more subdued. The light hearted tone also balanced out the bleakness of its post-apocalyptic setting aids.

Ultimately, it's the Doctor tricking the Thal leader, Alydon (Barry Ingham) into fighting back against the Daleks, by threatening to turn in his woman to them, that leads to the hippies making a stand. And not a moment too soon, as the Daleks are planning to detonate a neutron bomb which would eradicate the entire planet (it's never mentioned that it's the planet Skaro, but we all know it is, regardless).

Despite personally preferring its sequel (no space hippies in that one), Dr. Who and the Daleks is still a fun sci-fi adventure flick. A gorgeous film that's perfect viewing on a lazy bank holiday afternoon. You can't really go very wrong watching the charismatic Peter Cushing headlining any movie, unless it's the utterly depraved and sleazy Corruption (1968), or when he rapes Veronica Carlson in Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed (1969), or the entirely dreadful Nazi zombie movie Shockwaves (1977) for that matter, but my point still stands regarding the English legendary actor (I think). Watching Cushing pitted against the iconic Daleks in a gloriously colourful and sumptuous looking production, is absolute film magic. Better than modern Doctor Who and who really cares if it's not canonical, if it's this entertaining.

Picks of 1995

My opinion on Brit Pop might have softened over the years, but if you weren't one of the brainwashed lot into it in 1995, you were pretty much treated like an outcast at the Student Union bar. Anyway, here's Wonderwall my list of films from that year:

12 Monkeys (Terry Gilliam)

The Addiction (Abel Ferrara)

The Blade (Tsui Hark)

Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell (Shinichi Fukazawa)

Casino (Martin Scorsese)

Castle Freak (Stuart Gordon)

Die Hard with a Vengeance (John McTiernan)

Dracula: Dead and Loving It (Mel Brooks)

GoldenEye (Martin Campbell)

The Quick and the Dead (Sam Raimi)

Se7en (David Fincher)

Shallow Grave (Danny Boyle)

Toy Story (John Lasseter)

The Usual Suspects (Bryan Singer)

Village of the Damned (John Carpenter)

Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp from GoldenEye (1995). Just because.

Don't know if this lot still hold up, but I though they were good initially: Citizen X (Chris Gerolmo); Clockers (Spike Lee); La Haine (Mathieu Kassovitz); Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (Ernest R. Dickerson); Kids (Larry Clark); Rumble in the Bronx (Stanley Tong); Species (Roger Donaldson); Screamers (Christian Duguay) and Sudden Death (Peter Hyams). Have not seen them ever since.

The film I'm eager to revisit is Paul Verhoeven's Showgirls. Once regarded as terrible when it was released, but it seems to have undergone a complete 180 as some kind of misunderstood masterpiece. Want to judge for myself, on account of it being a Verhoeven film. I thought it was mediocre when I first watched it, however.

The Wish List: Part 9

Not done one of these for a while. Only three picks that deserve some boutique Blu-ray love this time around. It's the magic number. But seriously, though, it's because I can't be bothered to cover five this time. Still got PTSD doing that The Wicker Man review.

Blood and Roses (Roger Vadim, 1960)

After her tomb is disturbed by a fireworks display triggering an unexploded bomb, the ghost of vampire noblewoman Millarca Von Karnstein takes possession of her dead-ringer descendant Carmilla (Annette Stroyberg). Carmilla and Leopoldo (Mel Ferrer) might be a little more than just  'kissing cousins', but it's his fiancee, Georgia (Elsa Martinelli), which she finds herself thirsting for now. And so begins a potential affair between the two gorgeous babes while the odd servant gets bumped off.

Not the first adaptation of the most Frenchly named Irish man, Sheridan La Fanu's gothic novella, Carmilla, but it's perhaps the first to include its actual lesbian subtext; predating Hammer's own Karnstein films as well the ones from the European continent by almost a decade.

Roger Vadim had a great knack for casting beautiful women (notably those who married him) and making us think God created them, but boy is Stroyberg's acting equally as wooden as a stake in this. Still, both her and Martinelli (who wasn't married to Vadim) look like female perfection on film. It's all thanks to Claude Renoir's dreamily phantasmagoric cinematography, of course. Speaking of which, the film contains as an incredible dream sequence which may have inspired Tobe Hooper's terrifying window scenes from Salem's Lot (1979)

Caught this for the first time only just recently. While I find it baffling that any film with a less than 80 minutes run time still deems itself necessary to be a lethargically paced slow burner, I can't help but admire its innovative visual effects, as well as its mesmerising Bave-esque expressionism.

A high-definition upgrade is a must! It's an absolute sin that it's never been available on Blu-ray after all this time. Would be a perfect release by Radiance in between all the commie Italian movies and yakuza-themed snoozefests they constantly release.

 

The Ghoul (Freddie Francis, 1975)

Set in the roaring '20s, two middle-class British couples leave a party and do the most spontaneously bourgeois (therefore, entirely stupid) thing imaginable: race to Land's End in the middle of the night. Being a horror film and straying away from the basic premise of the light-hearted adventure comedy Genevieve (1951), things don't exactly go to plan. One way or another, they all end up on the premises of former clergyman, Doctor Lawrence (Peter Cushing). He also happens to keep his Hare Krishna cannibal son, locked up in the attic - the titular antagonist.

This has a great cast of recognisable actors. The Champions' Alexandra Bastedo and Hammer siren Veronica Carlson sporting a perm, rep the cult sirens department. The aforementioned Peter Cushing needs no introduction, similarly John Hurt is also great in this as a creepy caretaker. For trash hounds like myself, it's a real buzz to see the Ian MacCulloch in this before he became the quintessential Brit with a stiff upper lip and a comb over in various Italian horror movies.

Much like its other Tyburn Films brethren, Legend of the Werewolf (1974), that's also on a previous wish list and still unfulfilled, The Ghoul never even received the DVD treatment back in the day. Therefore, the only way to watch the film are the poor quality VHS rips uploaded on YouTube.

 

Near Dark (Kathryn Bigelow, 1987)

Small town farm boy Caleb Colton (Adrian Pasdar) unwillingly winds up joining a collective of vampires after falling for Madonna lookalike Mae (Jenny Wright). His sense of morality still prevails, however, which makes him yearn to be back on the farm with his father Loy (B-movie legend Tim Thomerson) and sister Sarah (Marcie Leeds). This might make him dead weight with his undead adoptive family, but he proves his worth after performing a daring rescue during a gunfight with the cops. 

Part neo-western and part vampire horror, Near Dark is a great example of how to blend two distinctively different genres into something uniquely entertaining. As a result, Near Dark is often put on the same podium with Fright Night (1985) and The Lost Boys (1987) as one of the greatest vampire flicks from the '80s.

The film also features a bunch of recognisable actors from the classic sci-fi sequel Aliens (1986), including, none other Bill Paxton; who essentially became the face of 1980s cinema for genre heads like myself. Paxton is unforgettable as the sadistic and utterly quotable vampire Severen. Also features the killer theme Fight at Dawn by Tangerine Dream and the best version of the song Fever, in my opinion.

Although Near Dark has already received the Blu-ray treatment, it's largely out of print and far too expensive to grab these days. Having been blown away with Second Sight's 4K UHD release of The Hitcher (1986), it's only right this gets a similar treatment (hopefully, by Second Sight too), and would make for an excellent double bill.

And that's your lot.