Reel Ale Houses

Having nursed a three day hangover this month, alcohol (and regret) has literally been weighing on your humble movie fiend’s mind lately. More importantly, choosing some of the more preferable thirst quenching watering holes to appear in film. 

Restricted my choices to film rather television, otherwise the selections would have been dominated by sitcom and soap opera boozers. 

Along with a quality pint that doesn't cost a fiver, it's all about a pub's atmosphere and decor which really make it appealing. It ought to feel cozy and relaxing, an oasis from the rat race. Alternatively, if a bar has a distinctive je nais se quios about it, then that also makes it a winner. So here's a bunch of fine taverns from the world of film that tickles your host's fancy:

Palace Hotel Bar

It might be a booze-fuelled nightmare for poor John Grant stuck in the Yabba, but the Palace Hotel Bar is the most tranquil spot in Ted Kotcheff's classic film Wake in Fright (1971). What makes this location blessed with a vomit themed colour palette so delighfully appealing to me is it serving as a perfect oasis for self-reflection before Grant loses his mind. Palace Hotel Bar even happens to be even quieter than the homes of some of the film's characters to boot. Also, it convinced me all Aussies are so over zealous with their hospitality in buying a round, you'll risk offending the locals to the point of being treated like a nonce if you say no; therefore it's wise to take them up on their offer... even at the risk of liver failure.

Green Man Inn

As long you're not visiting the remote Scottish island of Summerisle around late April and early May, I expect it to be rather pleasant there. Like most sensible people, I loathe film musicals with a passion, The Wicker Man (1973) is a very rare exception. It's tolerable in the film since the folk of Summerisle happen to be pagan worshipping nutters singing about filth like a folksy equivalent of 2 Live Crew. It's a bit plain looking indoors, but Green Man Inn is blessed by the sun gods with a dirty lot with the same juvenile sense of humour as myself; which makes me feel at home. Also, if Edward Woodward was a sane person and didn't cockblock himself after a naked Britt Ekland was beating on his bedroom door gagging for it, he would have left Summerisle alive, innit?

The Slaughtered Lamb*

"Beware the moon, lads!" If you've ever watched the absolute zenith of cinema that is An American Werewolf in London (1981), then you'll notice that The Slaughtered Lamb pub, located in the fictional Yorkshire village of East Proctor, looks ever so inviting in both day and night scenes. That's when you know this pub is a winner, as it looks spectacular both times of the day. Gorgeous looking place with pro-darts players and a hospitable landlady. The perfect shelter when it's cold and wet outside... as long as you don't piss off the locals by enquiring about the pentagram on the wall.

The Whippit Inn

Carry on Abroad (1972) might feature Brits behaving badly in Elsbels on the Costa Bomm for a significant portion of the film, but it's flanked by superb scenes in a wonderful looking rub-a-dub run by Sid James and Joan Sims (superbly named Vic & Cora Flange) known as The Whippit Inn (sic). Possibly the greatest landlord and landlady combo to ever appear in a film, in my opinion. Never mind Elyseum fields, if there's a heaven, then The Whippit Inn is how I would imagine it being. The final scene where the Carry On cast visit the place will forever be etched in my mind as the one of the most awesome pub meet-ups ever. 

The Dirty Hole

The second Yorkshire pub to make it on this list, however, this time around, you'd rather brave the moonlit moors of East Proctor, since the odds of making it out alive of The Dirty Hole are much slimmer than The Slaughter Lamb. The reason is due to the backwater area known as Mortlake happens to be home to cannibals with a family tree resembling a stump. Inbred (2012), Northern England's answer to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) might not be anywhere near as good as Tobe Hooper's film, but I'll be damned if  The Dirty Hole is not one of the coziest looking pubs featured in a film, to the extent that Paddy from Emmerdale swapped The Woolpack for it. Big fan of the authentic Tudor interior; not so much on the racism, though. Avoid the "pork" scratchings!

 J.J Devine Public House

2022 might go down in film history as the year where donkey harm became a thing thanks to The Triangle of Sadness and The Banshees of Inisherin (I refuse to watch Jerzy Skolimowski's Eo as I'll probably end up sobbing like a baby), but at least Martin McDonagh's film blessed us with what's arguably the best little on-screen boozer in ages. Like some primeval paradise nestled amongst nature's elements, the J.J. Devine pub feels like the perfect tavern to call a second home. A fine place with hospitable locals other than Brendan Gleeson. F@ck him and his sausage fingers! J.J. Devine also boasts the best pub garden as there aren't any unruly brats ruining my pint and it overlooks the North Atlantic ocean. Might explain the lack of kids, to be honest.

Kadie's

Considering infamous bars like the Copacana and The Double Deuce, the only fictional American joint to grace this list is Kadie's from Sin City (2005). Surprisingly posseses some real character; which is a rarity as I find American watering holes don't look as aesthetically pleasing much of the time. Truth be told, Sin City's, biggest draw is its black and white breakdown in its depiction of alpha dogs and temptress sirens which matches the film's visual style. The scenes shot in this bar are 100% proof. Note Brittany Murphy at her flyest serving drinks, while the insanely hot Jessica Alba does her dance for the onlookers; the perfect visual cocktail to drink away the pain.

The Crown Inn*

By far the best pub to be featured in Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg's Three Flavours Corenetto trilogy, in my opinion. The Crown Inn, as seen in the film Hot Fuzz (2007) is a really attractive looking boozer thanks to its historic and rustic charm. It exudes this warm and inviting vibe that would make this a home away from home given half a chance. In reality two pubs were used to make The Crown Inn such a standout; one for the exterior shots, and the other for the interiors. Film trickery at its finest.

Titty Twister

We can all unanimously agree that the Twister Twister is a bonafide vampire-ridden thirst trap. Chances of ever leaving this Mexican vampire nest alive are practically zilch. Still, I enjoy the rough and tumble vibe along with the Aztec decor of this temple turned bar conversion. This unholy paradise feaured in From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) is easily the most dangerous joint listed here, but what a place it is when you have Santanico Pandemonium seductively dancing and pouring tequila down your gob. R.I.P Frost and Sex Machine!

Mos Eisley Cantina

 

The precise moment when Star Wars (1977) went from a sci-fi adventure to a timeless classic was when I first laid eyes upon the Mos Eisley Cantina scene. Five year old me was staring with complete awe at all the cool looking alien species. Middle-aged me is still in amazement with the fanstasy of downing space grog and drunkenly chit-chatting with various galactic folk. The Mos Eisley cantina has been ripped-off in various movies ever since, including some later Star Wars films, but the O.G. pub is still the best of the lot. 

Honourable Mentions:

Shagal's inn from The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967); the roadhouse bar from National Lampoon's Animal House (1978); H.M.P Slade bar from Porridge (1979); Fagan's* from The Long Good Friday (1980); The Gold Room from The Shining (1980); Last Resort from Total Recall (1990); Secret bar behind the Puerto Rican barbershop in Carlito's Way (1993); The Ten Bells* from From Hell (2001); La Louisiane from Inglorious Basterds (2009); and The Black Prince* from Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015). 

 

Shout out to The Golden Glove* from The Golden Glove (2019) for being a depressing hell hole, but still managing to make me wish I were a fly on the wall there.

* These are either based on, or shot on location at a pre-existing bar.

 

Dada Debaser Bonus:

Dream Home (No Josie Ho)